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Turning “Drive Time” into “Growth Time”

By Stephen Blandino on April 26, 2012 in Personal Growth with 2 Comments

The Gallup organization’s research reveals that the average American spends 46 minutes per day commuting to and from work. Do the “drive time” math. That averages 230 minutes per week, over 15 hours per month, and nearly 200 hours per year. And if you live in a large, congested metropolitan area, your drive time is likely even higher. So what are you doing with your “drive time?”

Rather than simply using your commute to get yourself from point A to point B, why not use it to also get your mind from point A to point B. Listening to podcasts, interviews, teachings, and books is a great way to turn your drive time into growth time. Or, you may prefer using that time to reflect on something you read before leaving the house. I have a friend who told me his wife uses her commute to work each morning to talk to him on the phone, discuss a devotional, and pray together. They’ve turned “drive time” into spiritual and relational growth time.

If you work full-time from age 22 to 65, you have over 8,000 hours of personal growth potential sitting in your car. You can let it slip out the window day after day, or you can leverage it for your own growth. It’s your choice.

Question: How else can you turn drive time into growth time?

 

Dealing with Your Unconscious Incompetence

By Stephen Blandino on April 24, 2012 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Author and leadership consultant Dr. Sam Chand observes in his book, Cracking Your Church’s Culture Code:

“People have an almost limitless capacity for self-deception. We don’t know what we don’t know and are therefore unconsciously incompetent. If we were aware of our deficits, we’d ask questions and find solutions, but because we’re not aware, we stay stuck in the status quo until something shakes us awake” (p. 41).

There’s an element of not knowing what we don’t know that sounds crippling, almost even hopeless. If you don’t know that you don’t know something, where do you even start? There’s obviously not a fool-proof answer to this question. In fact, the answer to your “how do I know what I don’t know” question isn’t what you don’t know. Confused?

There are thousands of “I don’t know what I don’t know’s” out there that I will never know. And I can’t frantically search for the answers I don’t even know that I need. Instead, the only way to deal with our unconscious incompetence is to cultivate a set of ingredients that make it easier, and more likely, to discover what I don’t know. What are those ingredients? I suggest five:

Continue Reading…

What Does It Mean to Trust God?

By Stephen Blandino on April 23, 2012 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

If you’re like me, you probably bump into a certain “gap” in your life from time to time…perhaps more often than we like to admit. It’s the gap between what I EXPECT God to do and what He’s ACTUALLY doing. I call it my “Trust God Gap.” My “Trust God Gap” shows up when I ask myself, “What does it mean to trust God in this area of my life?”—This representing whatever I’m struggling to trust God with at that particular moment.

The “Trust God Gap” looks different for all of us. And if you’re trying to figure out what your Trust God Gap is, just answer this question: What does it mean to trust God in ____________? Whatever you put in the blank is the label (or name) on your Trust God Gap. You might have answered the question like this:

  • What does it mean to trust God with my relationships?
  • What does it mean to trust God with my job?
  • What does it mean to trust God when someone mistreats me?
  • What does it mean to trust God when somebody lies to me?
  • What does it mean to trust God with my money?
  • What does it mean to trust God with my time?
  • What does it mean to trust God with a really big decision I have to make?

I don’t know what you put in your blank, but the good news is that God provides direction to our question. Proverbs 3:5-7 says,

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.”

So what is Solomon saying in these three simple verses? Let’s unpack it. Continue Reading…

Is Your Dream Worth Your Life?

By Stephen Blandino on April 4, 2012 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

“Is your dream worth your life?” That’s a question I recently heard Erwin McManus pose at a leadership conference. This is such a powerful statement. How many times do people have a dream that falls significantly short of their full potential? How often do people settle for a dream that comes nowhere close to maximizing the gifts, abilities, skills, and passions that God has deposited within them?

Your life has been imprinted by God’s work. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” If we are God’s workmanship and he designed us intentionally to fulfill “good works” that he dreamed up before ever creating us, then why would we settle for a dream anything short of God’s plan? I would suggest that your dream is NOT worth your life if:

  • It’s more about you than God
  • Its focus is on the acquisition of material possessions
  • It’s centered around position, status, or fame
  • It does not benefit or serve others
  • It resides safely in the harbor of comfort
  • It requires little or no faith
  • It is fully dependent on and achievable in your own strengths

The greatest dreams are those worth giving, investing, and surrendering our lives to. And the only dream that would qualify is one inspired by God himself.

Question: Is your dream worth your life?

 

Clarity: Turning Learning Into Doing

By Stephen Blandino on March 20, 2012 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Have you ever noticed that the gap between what we learn and what we apply is often like the Grand Canyon? Why is that? While you could easily argue that it’s impossible to do everything you learn, it is also true that most of us could do better at closing our knowing-doing gap. “Doing” is the great separator between people who learn and people who grow. Until learning translates into behavioral changes, the learning has done little to benefit you.

I believe one essential ingredient to apply what you learn is CLARITY.  If the road to application is coated with confusion, your attempts to apply what you’re learning will only result in frustration. In other words, if what you learn is not accompanied with clear application points, it will be lost in the wilderness of theory and philosophy.

Say for example you develop a personal growth plan with a goal to improve your communication skills. To help you reach this goal, you read a couple of books on communication, attend a communicator’s seminar, and hire a communication coach for six months. As you read, study, and learn, you are faced with an excess of communication strategies and ideas.

Continue Reading…

People Development Over Program Development

By Stephen Blandino on March 13, 2012 in Church, Leadership, Personal Growth with 0 Comments

The church today has evolved into a complex system of programs designed to meet needs and help people. Many of these programs were started with a clear vision, and many of them remain true to their original purpose. However, like so many organizations, churches often protect what is at the expense of what could be. Unfortunately, protecting programs replaces  fulfilling mission.

How did we get to this place? In his book, Missional Renaissance, Reggie McNeal makes a poignant observation about the church and it’s program-driven modality. McNeal writes:

I maintain that the rise of the program-driven church correlates directly with the rise of the service economy in post-World War II America. The manufacturing engine powering the economy yielded to the service sector as Americans could afford to pay other people to do things they no longer wanted to do themselves or couldn’t do themselves. People began to outsource food preparation, lawn maintenance, laundry, oil changes, and child care. And Americans outsourced spiritual formation to the church. It was during this period that the concept of church as a vendor of religious goods and services became entrenched in the ethos of the North American church culture. (p. 92)

McNeal asserts that the church made an assumption that all of these programs were actually helping people grow. Perhaps some–maybe even many–of them do. But our assumptions are usually based on attendance rather than outcomes. We assume that if people are showing up, they must be growing. Our growth equation is often nothing more than Activity + Attendance = Personal Growth. As a result, people fail to “own” their growth.

I’m not suggesting that programs are bad. Rather, I’m challenging leaders to keep people development in focus. If programs can be leveraged to truly develop people, then those program should be resourced and maximized. But like so many things, the purpose of programs often evolves into nothing more than self-preservation. They shift from mission to maintenance.

So what might a new model for people development look like? I don’t claim to have all the answers, but when I observe healthy growth in people, I often see three important elements:

1. Customization - There is no one-size-fits-all personal growth system that everybody fits into neatly. Truthfully, most growth that seems to gain traction in our lives is customized to who we are and sensitive to our unique learning styles. Cramming square pegs into round holes only creates tension in the growth process. More times than not, people quit programs or drop out midstream because it doesn’t match their growth objectives or learning style. As a result, they fail to close their personal growth gaps. Question: What would happen if we helped people develop a customized growth plan to accelerate their growth?

2. Coaching - The coaching industry is accelerating like never before. And because true coaching is client-driven, people being coached tend to own their growth and are more deeply committed to seeing change in their lives. Good coaching doesn’t come with a pre-assigned solution to your problems. Rather, good coaching takes AIM at your potential. Question: How could we create a scaleable coaching strategy in the church in which people access the coaching they need to fulfill their God-given purpose?

3. Community - People need the ongoing support, encouragement, accountability, and growth-focused conversations of people who believe in them. When they experience true community, they often find themselves motivated toward growth. When you talk about community in the church, the focus is almost always on small groups. I believe in small groups, but I don’t believe small groups are the only way to experience deep relationships. Outside of my family, the most impacting relational connections in my life have occurred through one-on-one supportive accountability relationships with mature leaders.

Question: What other suggestions can you offer for creating a people-development culture over a program-development culture in the local church?

 

Making 21st Century gods Irrelevant

By Stephen Blandino on March 5, 2012 in Church, Culture, Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Most people in society would quickly deny that they worship a false god. While we may not worship statues, many other possessions and practices have captured our hearts in a posture of worship. It doesn’t take long for money, jobs, hobbies, fame, reputation, and stuff to sit on the throne of our hearts.

So what would happen if we made these “gods” irrelevant? I’m not saying that we don’t need money, or that we should quit our jobs, or that it’s a sin to have a hobby. And I’m not suggesting that your reputation is pointless or that it’s wrong to have material possessions. I’m simply asking, “What would happen if our love and commitment to Christ dethroned our 21st century gods and transformed how people view the Christ we serve?” Regi Campbell, author of Mentor Like Jesus, captured this really well when he wrote:

About 350 years after Christ, the Roman emperor Julian (AD 332-363) wanted to reinstitute faithfulness to the pagan religions of Rome but struggled because Christians were doing such good things for people, even strangers, that they rendered the Roman gods irrelevant.

Wouldn’t it be cool to render the pagan gods of the twenty-first century irrelevant by having millions of Christ followers become so genuine in their faith that they changed the world with their kindness, mercy, and generosity?

What in your life has become a god? What is preventing your faith in Christ from transforming all of who you are and mobilizing you to make a difference in the world? As Rick Warren observed, “The church has amputated its hands and its feet, and all that’s left is its mouth.” It’s time that the beauty of the risen Christ make our 21st century gods irrelevant.

 

10 Words of Wisdom to Young Leaders

By Stephen Blandino on February 29, 2012 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 2 Comments

Young leaders are full of energy, vision, passion, and faith. Identifying emerging leaders is essential to building good teams, and established leaders play an instrumental role in their growth and development. After 20 years of leading, here are a few tips I’d like to share with young leaders…things I wish somebody had shared with me. And if you work with young leaders, consider how you can help them grasp these ideas.

1. Put Character at the Top of Your List - Most young leaders want to prove themselves. It’s a natural reaction because you’re trying to get people to take you seriously…which tends to happen when you have a solid track record. But be careful not to sacrifice your character on the altar of achievement. Ruth Barton once said, “We set young leaders up for a fall if we encourage them to envision what they can do before they consider the kind of person they should be.” What kind of person do you want to be? Work hard to cultivate character so that what you do doesn’t outpace who you are.

2. Make Listening Your Default Response in Meetings - As a young leader who wants to be taken seriously, you may feel a temptation to continually voice your opinion. However, it’s important to realize that when you give voice to your opinions, credibility hangs in the balance. Remember the words of Jonathan Swift: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to say helpful, respectful, and beneficial?” Helpful is “what” you’re going to say; respectful is “how” you’re going to say it; beneficial is “who” will benefit from it. As Jim Collins says, “What’s your questions to answers ratio, and how you can you double it in the next year?” Learn to ask more questions rather than declaring all of your answers.

3. Develop the Master Skill - Authors Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner once wrote, “Learning is the master skill. When you fully engage in learning–when you throw yourself whole-heartedly into experimenting, reflecting, reading, or getting coaching–you are going to experience the thrill of improvement and the taste of success. More is more when it comes to learning.” You may have graduated from school, but never graduate from learning. Being a lifelong learner is what empowers your relevance for the rest of your life. Eric Hoffer captured it best when he said, “In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” Don’t be equipped for irrelevance…keep learning.

4. Sharpen Your Self-Awareness - All of us are trying to figure out who we are when we’re young. That’s a natural part of the growth journey. What’s sad is when people get older and yet still lack the awareness of who God made them to be. Increasing your self-awareness while you’re young allows “life purpose decisions” to compound over time. In other words, the more you understand how God wired you, the better decisions you’ll make about the direction you choose for your life. Good self-awareness always leads to better decisions about jobs, priorities, and time management. To increase your self-awareness clarify your strengths, discover your passions, and reflect on your dreams.

5. Seek Out Coaches - Coaching is possibly the most important strategy to help you grow. Seeking out coaches and mentors will push you light years ahead of where you would be if you travelled alone. As Andy Stanley says, coaching helps you go further, faster. Good coaches take A.I.M. at your potential and help you close the gaps between who you are and who you have the potential to become.

Continue Reading…

What to Do When You Lose Your Passion

By Stephen Blandino on February 28, 2012 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Yesterday I shared with you three questions to help you discover your passion. This is a helpful process to put you in touch with your deepest passions. But what do you do when your passion begins to wane? How do you get it back…or should you get it back?

The truth is that your passions will evolve over time. Rarely does a singular passion drive your for the entirety of your life. And if it does, it often takes on a new shape or form that keeps it exciting and relevant. What fired you up yesterday may frankly bore you today. While you have to work hard to maintain focus in life and in your organization, you also need passion to keep you moving forward.

So what should you do when you begin to lose your passion? I would suggest that you to listen to yourself talk. In his book, Ladder Shifts, Dr. Sam Chand observes the importance of passion and shares an example from the life of Bill Gates. Chand writes:

“When Gates started Microsoft, you’d hear his passion about his work whenever he spoke. Talk with him today, however, and you might be surprised to find that his passion has shifted. That’s exactly what one writer from New York magazine discovered while listening to Gates speak not long after he stepped down as Microsoft CEO to run the Gates Foundation”

“It was clear to all in the auditorium that software no longer got Gates’ juices pumping the way his work at the foundation did,” the article says. “Technology questions were answered quickly, without passion, whereas questions about global health elicited lengthy disquisitions full of detail and emotion. The way he talked about wiping out malaria was how he used to talk about wiping out Netscape.” (p. 98-99)

People respond differently when their passion loses its luster. Some go on a permanent mental vacation. Others buckle down and refocus their commitment. But it doesn’t take long for boredom to rear its head again. No matter how many tweaks you make, the wind of passion no longer fills your sails. Yes, you might experience an occasional burst of energy as you make an adjustment here or there, but it’s only temporary at best.

So listen to yourself speak. Where has the energy in your voice shifted to? When I was preparing for a transition several years ago, a friend of mine said, “Stephen, I can hear renewed passion in your voice.” He was right. My passion had faded with my role and was finding a new voice in a new opportunity.

Question: When you listen to yourself talk (and when others listen to you) where do you (and they) hear your passion come alive?

 

How to Discover Your Passion

By Stephen Blandino on February 27, 2012 in Personal Growth with 3 Comments

I’ve spent a good deal of time helping people discover how God wired them and how they could use their unique design to make a difference in the world. It’s no secret that to find your “place of service,” you must understand your gifts, abilities, skills, personality, and passions. And there are loads of assessments to help you clarify who God made you to be such as Strengthsfinder, Myers-Briggs, and Assessme.

All of these are important, but I’ve found that “passion” is the hardest one for people to pinpoint. Without passion, you’ll find yourself on cruise control. You’ll go through the motions with little emotion to keep you engaged. You can have an exceptionally honed set of skills, but without passion, your skills will yawn with boredom. You’ll scratch your head and wonder, “Is this all there is?”

One step that will help you discover your passions is to answer three questions. These questions provide a practical framework to help you explore your passions.

1. Which needs, problems, or issues do you feel challenged to serve? These are often cause-oriented passions that bring great levels of satisfaction because you feel like you’re truly making a difference with the world’s biggest needs. Some of these causes might include relational issues (marriage, parenting, abuse), emotional issues (insecurities, anger, emotional health), social issues (sanctity of life, poverty, homelessness, hunger, justice), political issues (policy, law), educational issues (tutoring, mentoring, at-risk children), financial issues (stewardship, financial counseling), or health issues (disease, disabilities, fitness, nutrition, disorders, addictions). This list could be endless, but you get the point.

2. Which people do you feel moved to help? Passions are sometimes tied to the people we will serve more than what we will actually do. You might be moved to help a specific age group (children, youth, adults, seniors), gender (male or female), culture (a certain nationality or people group), or a very specific audience who you connect with best. The best strategy is to identify the audience you feel drawn to serve and then determine how your unique skills can best help that particular audience.

3. Which activities do you deeply enjoy? Finally, some passions are tied to the activities we enjoy doing the most. These activities my be:

  • Heart Activities – These are activities that rely on empathy, relationship-building, encouraging, connecting, and hospitality.
  • Head Activities – These activities often involve dreaming, researching, creating, strategizing, and organizing.
  • Hand Activities – These activities involve things like helping, serving, building, performing, and constructing.

If you’re struggling to figure out your passions, ask yourself these three questions. Reflect on your past experience and really hunt for those times when you felt alive and full of energy. Then combine your God-given abilities with your newly discovered passion to make your mark on the world.

Question: What else have you found helpful in discovering passions?  

 

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