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Coaching: Taking A.I.M. at Potential

By Stephen Blandino on May 5, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 1 Comment

The idea of coaching has gained momentum for several years.  As ministry and organizational life become increasingly complex, more leaders are turning to coaching as a key to accelerate their performance.  However, leaders often let the coaching end with themselves.  I would challenge you to begin investing intentionally in emerging leaders around you, helping them grow to their full potential.  So what exactly does a coach do?  Great coaches take A.I.M. at Potential–they provide Assessment, Insight, and Motivation.

Assessment – Coaching begins when an individual’s performance, character, skills, strengths, and weaknesses are adequately assessed.  You cannot effectively coach someone if you do not understand their current reality.  And you cannot help a person reach their potential if you do not understand their capacity in key areas of life.  By asking thoughtful questions, administering strengths assessments, and/or watching performance, you will quickly glean the information necessary to accurately assess an individual’s strengths and gaps. 

Insight – Following an accurate assessment, coaches provide valuable insights that will help a leader grow, improve, and accelerate.  This process can take place three ways.  First, the coach asks good questions–this is typically the best coaching tool.  Most people will come to the right conclusions about growth steps when a coach asks the right questions.  Second, coaches provide perspective.  As a person is coached they will share ideas, strategies, and practices they believe they should pursue.  As a coach, your job is to help leaders process these ideas, serve as a sounding board, and provide perspective.  Third, coaches offer insights that serves as the missing ingredient to success.  Coaches must be careful not to prematurely jump into “answer mode.”  Asking questions and providing perspective should be pursued first so the individual can learn to think for themselves and identify solutions best for their context.  However, there are times when a leader hits a sticking point and the coach needs to offer ideas and best practices.  This is especially true in formal coaching relationships that revolve around professional matters where the individual is seeking specialized expertise.

Motivation – Finally, a good coach serves as a motivator–someone on the sidelines cheering on the individual as they implement new ideas and pursue growth in essential areas of life.  Coaches that cannot encourage people will never inspire them to keep going when things get tough.  Great coaches balance the right amount of motivation with appropriate accountability–they encourage the people they coach without endorsing excuses.  

I’ll say it again, great coaches take A.I.M. at potential.  They provide Assessment, Insight, and Motivation.  It’s really not all that difficult when you think about it.  All of us have helped people gain perspective on their strengths and weaknesses (ASSESSMENT), asked questions and offered valuable thoughts and ideas (INSIGHT), and come alongside to encourage them in the journey (MOTIVATION).  So who are you coaching today?

What’s Your God-Picture?

By Stephen Blandino on May 3, 2009 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

What’s your God-picture?  In his book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, Mark Batterson says, “How you think about God will determine who you become. You aren’t just the byproduct of ‘nature’ or ‘nurture.’ You are a byproduct of your God-picture. And that internal picture of God determines how you see everything else.” This is an essential truth to understand if you are going to enjoy a meaningful relationship with God. Consider two expressions of your God-picture:

1.  Your View of God Shapes How You Believe He Views You - For many people, their view of God is distorted by guilt, anger, distrust, and a past riddled with pain. As a result, they believe God views them as worthless and hopeless. But when you view God in the grandeur of his character, you begin to realize that He looks back at you through unfathomable eyes of unconditional love. He doesn’t reluctantly accept you when you come before Him. Rather, he proactively takes the first step–wooing you to a life reconciled with Him.

2.  Your View of God Shapes the Size of Your Prayers - Too often we view prayer as an interruption in God’s day. As a result, we only ask for the minimum. I think this approach keeps us confined to fear and limits our willingness to take bold risks to advance God’s Kingdom. As Batterson says, “We reduce God to the size of our biggest problem.” When we pray small prayers we possess a very small God-picture.

What’s your God-picture? How do you view Him? How do you believe He views you? What’s the biggest thing you’ve prayed for lately? Do you need a new picture of who God truly is?

An Isle Called "Someday I’ll"

By Stephen Blandino on May 1, 2009 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Basketball coaching legend, John Wooden, once said, “When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare.” Everybody wants great opportunities to cross their path, change the course of their life, or bring that long-awaited breakthrough. Unfortunately, too many people camp on an isle called “someday I’ll” as they wait for the perfect opportunity to come. With visions of grandeur they make statements like, “Someday I’ll land the perfect job,” or “Someday I’ll restore that relationship,” or “Someday I’ll figure out my purpose in life.” The problem with “Someday I’ll” is that it usually ends on an isle of regret. Life comes to a close with statements that begin, “I wish I had…”

So why not replace “Someday I’ll” with “Today I’ll.” Rather than waiting for opportunity, why don’t you proactively prepare with an opportunity in mind. We all need the right opportunities to fulfill our God-inspired dreams, but, in my experience, God rarely brings the opportunities if we have not faithfully prepared ourselves.

Preparation equals personal growth. My consistent and strategic personal growth prepares me for the opportunities that open the door to my dreams. John Wooden was right, “When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare.” But I would add, “If you never prepare, the opportunities rarely come.” You have to move from intentions to actions.

Question: What are you doing to prepare?

Are You Drowning in Email?

By Stephen Blandino on April 25, 2009 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Is your email inbox out of control?  One of the biggest time management challenges facing leaders today is knowing how to effectively and efficiently handle their daily flood of emails.  Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, offers some great insight on how he handles 100 emails per day in his post, “Yes, You Can Stay on Top of Email.”

Leadership Failure or Failed Leadership

By Stephen Blandino on April 23, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 2 Comments

Perhaps the greatest fear for leaders today is failure.  Unfortunately, we often equate a “leadership failure” with “failed leadership.” Sound like a technicality of terms?  A leadership failure means you made a poor decision, risked and lost, or tried something new that simply didn’t work.  It typically comes with a big slice of humble pie.  But “failed leadership” indicates a complete leadership meltdown–it’s a loss of character, a growth plateau in competence, a compromise in conviction, or a retreat from courage into comfortable safety.  

“Leadership failure” and “failed leadership” may sound like a slight terminology tweak, but the difference is anything but.  The problem is, when we equate a “leadership failure” with “failed leadership” we retreat to our predictable world of mediocrity.  We stop growing, innovating, creating, and pushing ourselves outside the safety of routines.  Our image becomes our idol and innovation becomes our enemy.  

In their book, A Leader’s Legacy, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner said, “If you’re not willing to fail at what you do, you’ll never become great and you’ll never innovate” (p. 164).  Did you catch that…”If you’re not WILLING to fail…”  In other words, failure has to be an option in your leadership landscape.  It’s not that you want to fail or intentionally choose to fail, but to paint a leadership picture without risk is the equivalent of building your organization on the worn out ideas of yesterday.  The result–”You’ll never become great and you’ll never innovate.”  

So what’s your failure tolerance?  Are you willing to risk so that you can innovate a better tomorrow?  So that you can lead your church, ministry, or organization to a new level?  So that you can fulfill God’s call on your life?  So that you can change the slice of the world God has called you to serve?  Or will you conclude your life and leadership on auto pilot?  

Is failure risky?  Sure it is–but no more risky than the retreat to safety where we stop trusting God because our fear of failure squelches God’s call to change, risk, and courageously lead.  It’s important to understand that failure and success are bedfellows. Michael Jordan said it best: “I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career.  I’ve lost three hundred games.  Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the winning shot and missed.  I’ve failed over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.”  

I would rather have multiple leadership failures than be a failed leader.  If your heart is right, you walk humbly with God, you are honest about your mistakes, and you treat others with respect, people can often find it within themselves to forgive you for a leadership failure.  But failed leadership is different–it defines your legacy. 

Actual Values or Perceived Values

By Stephen Blandino on April 18, 2009 in Personal Growth with 0 Comments

Everybody has values–the real question is, “Are they actual or perceived?” A value is a principle, belief, relationship, or priority that we hold so high that it trumps everything else–it is at the core of who we are. The problem is, what we say we value and what we actually value are not always the same.

Think about it–what married man or woman with half a brain is going to say, “I don’t value my spouse.” Or what leader is going to say, “I don’t value my team?” Or what Christian is going to say, “I don’t value my relationship with God?” It’s easy to say the “right” answers when we are questioned about our values.  But what we say really doesn’t mean much–what we do means everything.

The difference between an actual value and a perceived value is one word–behavior.  If my stated values and my actual behavior don’t line up, I have nothing more than a perceived value. To differentiate between the two, list your core values on paper and then practice the following two exercises to help you determine if your values are actual values or perceived values:

1.  Ask yourself, “What specific and ongoing personal behaviors and practices can I point to in the last 30 days that show evidence of what I say I value?” 

2.  Ask those who know you best, “Based on how I use my time, what would you say are my highest values?”

These are two tough questions, but they will reveal what you actually value and will help you face the brutal reality of perceived values. When you come face to face with perceived values, you will have to make a difficult decision–do I stop kidding myself and admit that it’s really not a value OR do I make visible changes in my behavior resulting in the value shifting from “perceived” to “actual.” The real goal is not changing terminology, it’s changing behaviors that profoundly shape your relationships and priorities.

 

How to Capture a Vision

By Stephen Blandino on April 16, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 1 Comment

One of my favorite leaders from Scripture is Nehemiah. His story is quite remarkable and offers enough lessons to keep any leader fully engaged. I’ve been reading his story (again) and one of the greatest lessons is found in Nehemiah 1 when the dream was birthed in Nehemiah’s heart to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. I’ve often asked myself, “How does a person capture a God-given vision?” I believe Nehemiah’s story provides five great insights:

1.   Ask Questions – In the opening verses of chapter one, Nehemiah asked his brother, Hanani, and some Jews traveling with him, about the conditions in Jerusalem. This process of asking questions unlocks the door to vision…and quickly leads to the second step.

2.  Gain Awareness of Needs and Problems – After asking about the conditions of Jerusalem, Hanani and his companions  told Nehemiah, “The exile survivors who are left there in the province are in bad shape. Conditions are appalling. The wall of Jerusalem is still rubble; the city gates are still cinders” (V. 3 – The Message). When you ask questions, you invariably discover needs to be met and problems to be solved. That’s what vision is all about–it’s a heart-capturing solution to an existing need or problem. If you want to get a vision, put yourself in places that will disrupt your comfort zone.

3.  Feel the Weight of the Need or Problem – Verse four begins, “When I heard this, I sat down and wept.” The need in Jerusalem was not a small issue. And when Nehemiah met with the king, the king immediately noticed his heaviness of heart. Nehemiah felt the weight of the need at hand. The problem in Jerusalem was almost overwhelming and something had to be done. As Andy Stanley (1999) says, “Anyone with a vision will tell you this is not merely something that could be done. This is something that should be done.”  (p .17).  And that’s how Nehemiah felt–fixing the problem in Jerusalem was a should not a could.

4.  Fast and Pray – Nehemiah’s immediate response to the news was to spend time fasting and praying. I believe fasting and prayer is where leaders gain four things:

  • First, they are able to discern a burden from a calling. Everybody is burdened when they see needs such as poverty, injustice, disease, abuse, and any number of rising global challenges. There are so many needs that feelings of paralysis can easily overtake us. Fasting and praying helps a leader sort through the ocean of need and drop anchor on the issues God has called them to serve.
  • Second, prayer and fasting helps leaders clarify the “what” of the vision. It enables leaders to bring the vast need into clear focus.
  • Third, prayer and fasting causes leaders to reflect on their own shortcomings and take responsibility for anything they’ve failed to do in response to the need. Repentance was an important part Nehemiah’s prayer.
  • Forth, prayer and fasting helps leaders understand their “next steps” in pursuing the vision. Nehemiah asked God to make him successful as he took the step to meet with the king.

5.  Act Courageously – Nehemiah knew that vision without action lacks traction. And the big separator between dreaming and doing is one word–courage. It requires an initial courageous act for vision to work itself out of our heart and into our hands. For Nehemiah, that required a meeting with the king where he expressed the need, shared his vision, and requested assistance to pursue it.

What’s your vision? Start asking questions, opening your eyes to the needs around you, letting those needs permeate your heart, seeking God, and acting courageously. The world is waiting!

The Six Keys to Time Management – Part 3

By Stephen Blandino on April 6, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 0 Comments

My last two posts have examined four ingredients to time management: Purpose and Values followed by Roles and Priorities. Purpose and Values are the ultimate compass for how to invest your time. When you understand your purpose and values, you can strategically pursue the right roles that will help you best fulfill your purpose and live out your values. And as you clarify or acquire those roles, you must establish clear priorities for each role that focuses on your strengths. So what’s next? There’s two final keys to effective time management–Planning and Boundaries.  

Planning and Boundaries focus on the “how” of time management. Planning employs an effective system to help you strategically plan the use of your time. Boundaries are the parameters you establish to ensure your time is not abused and important values are not violated. So how do you establish Planning and Boundaries?  

Here are several “PLANNING” considerations:

  • Secure an Effective Time Management Tool – Whether it’s Microsoft Outlook, iCal, or any number of tools, find what works best for you. The only “right” tool is the one that works for you.
  • Enter Start Dates at the Beginning of the Year – Begin each year by entering start dates for your key goals and initiatives. This will allow you to forget your goals without forgetting to achieve them–because your calendar will remind you when to get started.
  • Have a Weekly Meeting with Yourself – Set aside 15-30 minutes at the beginning of the week to plan your week, schedule priorities, organize your workspace, and organize your inbox.
  • Understand Your Personal Rhythm – Everybody has peaks and valleys in the flow of their day. When you understand your most productive times, you can allocate your high energy moments to your most important tasks. 
  • Maximize Downtime – It’s the loss of 10 minutes here and 15 minutes there that really adds up to major loss of time. Consider having a 10 minute stack for those in-between times when a meeting ends early and the next one doesn’t start for 15 minutes. Keep a book in your car for those times when you arrive early or find yourself waiting on somebody. Program key numbers into your cell phone so you can make quick calls during down times.  
  • Schedule Appointments Back to Back – This will enable you to start and end appointments on time.
  • Avoid Time Wasters – Things like hallway conversations, unorganized workspace, and fruitless technology can consume large amounts of time.
  • Work Off-Site – Sometimes the best way to get things done is to work where you will be free of interruptions.
  • Delegate and Outsource – Delegate everything that falls outside your strengths, can be done by somebody else 80% as well as you, or is a waste of your time. Build a volunteer base who can assume various tasks. Furthermore, outsource when possible.
BOUNDARIES are the final key component in time management. Without boundaries, somebody else will determine how you spend your time. To help you establish clear parameters for the use of your time, consider the following:
  • Conduct a Time Management Audit to Identify Your Greatest Time Management Pitfalls – In what areas of life do you most often violate the use of your time? Is it at work, with your family, in your volunteer roles, or somewhere else? A 7-day time audit will help you discover exactly how you spend your time.
  • Determine the Root Cause of Your Pitfalls – What often drives imbalance with time is one word–FEAR. We allocate disproportionate amounts of time to certain areas because we’re afraid what will happen if we don’t. For example, we  work long hours because we’re afraid we’ll let the boss down or bring in lower results this quarter.
  • Identify Clear Boundaries – Determine what you must do in order to set a boundary that will help you get your time in balance.
  • Pursue Accountability – Chances are you won’t be able to maintain your boundaries without somebody else asking the hard questions. If you’re married, ask your spouse what your boundaries should be–and don’t blow up when he or she tells you.
  • Take a Regular Day Off and Use Your Vacation Time – God did not make you to work seven days a week. Violating this boundary will only deteriorate your health and sabotage your family life.
Time management minus planning and boundaries equals an unbalanced life. These are the practical day-to-day aspects of time management. But let me emphasize, planning and boundaries without purpose, values, roles, and priorities only leads to efficiently accomplishing the wrong things. But when all six ingredients are present, time is truly maximized. 

The Six Keys to Time Management – Part 2

By Stephen Blandino on April 2, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 1 Comment

In my last post I noted that Purpose and Values are the foundation of time management. Without them, people efficiently do the wrong things. However, understanding purpose and values is not enough. The next two ingredients to effective time management are Roles and Priorities. The truth is that my life purpose and my core values will only be fully realized if I’m investing my time in roles that facilitate their fulfillment. In other words, WHERE I serve (my roles) and what I DO in those roles (my priorities) will determine how well I fulfill my life purpose. Knowing my purpose without have a major role through which I can fulfill it (regardless of whether its a volunteer or paid role), will only leave me frustrated. At some point my roles must be aligned with my purpose and values. Typically roles can fall into one of five areas–what I call C5 Roles:

  • Church – Any serving role that is connected with a local church fellowship and is aligned with its vision.
  • Community – Any serving role in the community, neighborhood, or home that makes a difference for others.
  • Campus – Any serving role on a local school or college campus that makes a difference for the teachers, students, administration, or campus.
  • Career – Using any career role or job intentionally to help others.
  • Cause – Any serving role that promotes a cause in the world you are passionate about.

Once you secure a role, you must ensure that you’re spending your time on the top 3-5 priorities that are most important in that role. Doing the wrong things in the right role doesn’t get you very far. To help you determine which priorities deserve your greatest amount of time, John Maxwell offers seven helpful questions: 

  • What are you recognized for?  (those areas in your roles that others say you do well)
  • What is required of you?  (those things in your job description)
  • What are you requested for?  (those things in your roles that others request you to do because they are strengths for you)
  • What are you rewarded most highly for?  (those things in your roles others reward you for because you do them so well)
  • What produces the greatest results?  (those things in your roles that have the highest return on your investment of time)
  • What do you rejoice over?  (those things in your roles that bring you the greatest personal satisfaction)
  • What do you want to be remembered for?  (those things in your roles you want others to remember you for long into the future)
These questions will stimulate you to create a narrow list of priorities that should be the focus of how you invest your time in each of your roles. Time management minus roles and priorities equals an unfocused life. So let’s review–first, identify your purpose and values. Second choose a role(s) that is aligned with your purpose and values. Third, settle on your most important priorities in each role that will help you fulfill your purpose and live out your values. Are you seeing a pattern here? Rather than asking, “how can I get more done in less time?”, you’re tackling the biggest issues first and then aligning everything around them.  

The Six Keys to Time Management – Part 1

By Stephen Blandino on March 28, 2009 in Leadership, Personal Growth with 2 Comments

The time management maze usually leaves us asking, “How can I get more done in less time?” We’re always looking for the latest idea, the newest technologies, and the best strategies to maximize time. While I certainly believe efficiency is critical to maximizing time, I’ve discovered that many people efficiently do the wrong things. Why? Because they lack a clear understanding of two important ingredients that serve as the anchor for effective time management–purpose and values.  

The use of your time will always be misaligned if you do not understand your life purpose and if you’ve never identified your core values. Time management minus purpose and values equals an unfulfilled life. You spin your wheels but never get traction toward the things God created you to do. 

So here are two questions to help you get started. First, how has God wired you? When you understand your strengths, passions, personality, and skills, it will give you a head start at clarifying the purpose God designed you to fulfill. Second, what are the small handful of people, principles, and practices that are more important to you than anything else? Your answer to this question will reveal your values. As your purpose and values become clear, write them down and then ask yourself a really scary question–”How much of what I currently do is helping me fulfill my purpose and live out my values?”

In my next two posts, I’ll examine the four additional ingredients to effective time management. Each plays an essential role in helping us find focus, fulfillment, and balance.   

 

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