Archives For Relationships

Four Domains of Leadership Strength

May 23, 2011 — 1 Comment

The strengths movement made popular by Marcus Buckingham has influenced countless leaders and organizations. By taking the Strengthsfinder assessment, you can pinpoint your five greatest talent themes and discover how to leverage them for personal and organizational success. But one of the most helpful tools in the strengths movement is the book Strengths Based Leadership by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie.

In Strengths Based Leadership, the authors organize the 34 talent themes into four domains of leadership strength. Each domain describes how strengths can be leveraged in leadership for the effectiveness of the organization. The four domains include: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, and Strategic Thinking.

  • EXECUTING - Leaders whose strengths are primarily in the executing domain are great at making things happen. The bottom line for these leaders is their ability to get things done.
  • INFLUENCING - Leaders with strengths in the influencing domain are able to help the team reach a broader audience by selling the teams ideas inside and outside the organization.
  • RELATIONSHIP BUILDING - Leaders with relationship building strengths are like the glue of the organization and have the ability to create groups that are greater than the sum of their parts.
  • STRATEGIC THINKING - Leaders whose strengths lie in strategic thinking have the ability to keep the team focused on the future, to stretch thinking, and to innovate new ideas.

Rath and Conchie observe, “A more detailed language may work best for individual development, but these broad domains offer a more practical lens for looking at the composition of a team.” I have found that statement to be very true. It has helped us see where our team is strong, how we should restructure based on strengths, and where future hires need strengths.

If you’ve discovered your top five strengths by taking the Strengthsfinder assessment online, the following list organizes the strengths in each of the four leadership domains:

Continue Reading…

In Church, Leadership, Organizations Execution, Influence, Leadership, Organizations, Relationships, Strategic Thinking, Strengths
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5 Meaningless Apologies…And One That Works

September 16, 2010 — Leave a comment
You’ve probably experienced it before, maybe more times than you care to count. You know…somebody apologizes to you, but the apology is cluttered with background noise. Rather than a sincere apology where the offender takes full responsibility for their words and actions, there’s a hint of justification, arrogance, or even denial in their so called “apology.” Before this turns into a pity party, let’s look in the mirror for a moment. Chances are you’ve done the same to someone else. I know I have. 

The problem is we play games with our apologies–five games to be exact. In her book, The Art of Mentoring, Shirley Peddy describes these meaningless games that turn into meaningless apologies:

1. The Legal Game - This game involves transferring blame to the other party. Peddy says the legal game sounds like this: “I’m sorry that you took what I said the wrong way.” This tactic suggests that the person we offended has the problem, not us. I’m pretty sure I recall a few politicians and public figures using this line.

2. The Journalistic Approach - This strategy attributes every detail of the situation to an unnamed source. The Journalistic approach sounds like this: “I was told you had handled this. That’s why I reacted so strongly.”  My reaction is under my control, nobody else’s. It’s a choice.

3. The Scientific Apology - This approach pulls the situation under a microscope where every detail is agonized over. Here’s how Peddy describes it: “Did A lead to B? Was there a scientific cause behind it? You say, ‘I did X because you did Y. Perhaps if you had done Z…’ Get my drift?”

4. The Theatrical Apology - This apology is high on drama. Here’s how Peddy articulates it: “Oh, I can’t believe I could have done something so awful. You wouldn’t believe what was going on here. I mean, it’s a zoo! Can you ever forgive me?” There’s no need for the drama in an apology. It’s nothing more than an attempt to justify our behavior.

5. The Political Apology - The final meaningless apology is political in nature….as if something happened but nobody was there. Peddy says the political apology sounds like this: “We regret a mistake was made by someone. Of course, since we had no control of the situation, we can’t assume responsibility for the event.” Ever heard a large company make an apology like this that was broadcast by the media for the world to hear. It lacks heart, sincerity, and avoids any responsibility. 

So what’s the appropriate way to apologize? Consider the Gracious Apology. The gracious apology takes full responsibility without twisting things, creating a bunch of drama, or shifting the blame. Peddy asserts that a gracious apology means that we fully admit our mistake, give opportunity for the other party to respond, empathize with their feelings, offer to correct the situation, and follow the apology with action steps. 

Questions: What other “apology tactics” have you seen people use? What else can a leader do to make a gracious apology? Who do you need to apologize to? 
In Personal Growth Failure, Mentoring, Relationships
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Using Your Influence Capital to Coach Young Leaders

June 11, 2009 — Leave a comment

Every one of us has a network of relationships that have impacted or enriched our lives.  These relationships make up our influence capital.  In other words, we have influence with people who also have influence with us which creates capital we can share with others.  How?  By connecting the people we coach and mentor with the people in our network of relationships who can help them grow.  For example, if during the process of coaching a young leader I discover their desire to grow in an area where I have little knowledge, the best thing I can do is lend my influence capital by connecting them with a potential coach in my network of relationships.  Doing so enables young leaders to gain access to expertise that they otherwise would not have been able to get.  I’m not talking about multi-level marketing or some abuse of relationships.  Rather, I’m promoting what professor, author, and leadership mentor, Bobby Clinton refers to as “Sponsoring.”   


Sponsoring is a form of mentoring. Sponsoring essentially means that you become a connector–matching the right apprentice with the right mentor based on the needs of the apprentice and the expertise of the mentor. It means sponsoring people into relationships that will accelerate their growth.  When leaders embrace this form of mentoring, they leverage their relational network for the good of emerging young leaders who need coaching in areas where your relational network may excel.  When we horde our influence capital, we do two things–we limit the use of our network’s God-given gifts and we limit the growth of the young leaders God has placed in our lives.  Become a connector today–share your influence capital in a strategic way with those you are coaching and mentoring.
In Leadership, Personal Growth Coaching, Influence, Mentoring, Relationships
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Who’s Your Butt-Kicker?

June 4, 2009 — Leave a comment

Author and Professor of Evangelism at Drew University, Leonard Sweet, asserts in his book, 11 Indispensable Relationships You Can’t Be Without, that in order to finish well in the race of life, we MUST have a series of healthy relationships.  While I won’t take the time here to divulge all eleven relationships, let me touch on one that will “get you moving.”  Sweet notes that one relationship we all need is a “Butt-Kicker” and uses Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, as a Biblical example.  I’ll let a few of Sweet’s words explain the essence of a butt-kicker.  He writes:


  • Jethro is someone who asks you, “What’s your favorite future?” and who blesses you forward.

  • You need a Jethro:  someone who boots you awake so you look at rather than look away and blesses you forward with, “Go in vigor and strength in what you are going to do.”

  • You need a Jethro:  a conscientious kick-in-the-pants objector who confronts your tut-tutting and hew-hawing, who unglues you from the boob tube or YouTube, and makes you face up to your capacity to wallow in mud baths of your own making.

  • You need a Jethro:  a laxative that pushes you out the door and ends the “after you, Claude” syndrome–where you say, “I’ll only do it if you do it,” and the other says, “We’ll only do it if you do it,” and meanwhile nobody goes anywhere, everyone just sits around, and nothing gets done.  

  • You need a Jethro:  someone who puts the boot to the backside and tells you to live life, not just with your brain but with your backbone … and that “telltale tingle down the spine” that confirms you are living the truth.   

Sweet’s challenge:  ”Who is your Jethro?  And who are you Jethroing?  Jethros bless you to go to what God is calling you to do so that you can receive peace in your life.  Everyone needs someone (often older) who is wild and crazy about them, who believes in them, and cares enough about them to wake and shake them up to dream big and live large.  The older you get (and the transition from ‘young turk’ to ‘old geezer’ is alarmingly fast), the more you need a Jethro to help you make the transition from blazing comet to fixed star, rather than shooting star.”

Need I say more?
In Personal Growth Relationships
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How to Make Your Ideas Spread

May 9, 2009 — Leave a comment

A few years ago I read Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. It’s a very intriguing read and really helps you think about how ideas and epidemics spread. Something from his book that has always stuck with me is the concept of Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen.   

Connectors are people who are well networked. When we are trying to sell a product, launch a new initiative, or gain traction with an idea, we need other people who can help us get where we want to go. Unfortunately, too often we don’t personally know the people who can help us the most–but somebody in our network of relationships does. And when we can get someone in our network to connect us with a key individual in their network, we are able to take strategic steps forward. These “Connectors” have great relationship capital and are willing to introduce you to the people who can help you in the area where you need it the most. 

Mavens are people who have the knowledge you need–and they’re willing to give it to you. This is essential when you’re working to achieve a goal, market a product, or improve a system, resource, or strategy. Whereas Connectors have relational capital, Mavens have knowledge capital. Their knowledge is extraordinarily beneficial and can ultimately help you improve your product, avoid pitfalls, or save a lot of money.

Salesmen are people with influence. They can sell an idea and provide great credibility when they endorse a program or product. Salesmen have influence capital and are often the ones to bring attention to ideas, opportunities, or products that otherwise may have disappeared into oblivion.  

So here are two questions to think about:

1. What Connectors, Mavens, or Salesmen do you know who could help you take a few steps forward with your latest initiatives or goals? Be humble enough to contact them today and ask for their help.

2. Who could you help reach their dreams by becoming a Connector, Maven, or Salesman for them? Why not be a generous leader who adds value to others?

Simple questions that could produce some profound outcomes.

In Leadership Influence, Knowledge, Marketing, Relationships
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