How to Become Wise

November 1, 2012 — Leave a comment

The book of James is often considered the proverbs of the New Testament because of the wisdom it contains. In my last few posts I’ve shared several insights from James on problems, temptation, taking action, and words. Today, I want to look at How to Become Wise. 

Bill Cosby once said, “A word to the wise ain’t necessary; it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.” While there’s some humor in that quote, even the wise understand the importance of lifelong learning, coaching, and personal application.

James begins with a question his observations on wisdom with a question: “Who is wise and understanding among you?” (James 3:13) In the Old Testament, wisdom was considered to be the most valuable possession a person could have. In fact, in 1 Kings 3, we read the story of King Solomon having a dream one night where God said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” Rather than asking for wealth, power, or possessions, Solomon said:

“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours. (1 Kings 3:9)

And God responded to Solomon’s request:

“…I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.” (1 Kings 3:12-14)

Wisdom was a big deal to the Hebrews. It was far more than knowledge. It was much more than information or instruction. At it’s core, wisdom was behavioral. The Jews believed wisdom to be the skill of living righteously. The focus wasn’t knowledge of the truth but rather application of the truth.

In his book, The Divine Mentor, Wayne Cordeiro observes that wisdom is a higher form of knowledge. He compares it to sodium. Sodium in its raw form can be destructive. But when it’s converted into sodium chloride, or table salt, it is beneficial. Knowledge is the same way. It was never meant to be an end in itself. Knowledge must be converted into a higher form–wisdom–before it becomes truly beneficial to us.

Jesus understood that wisdom was greater than knowledge when he said:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)

Who did Jesus say is wise? Not the person who hears the truth, but the person who puts it into practice. When James said, “Who is wise and understanding among you?” he was asking, “Who among you is skilled in living righteously?”

From his opening question, James begins a comparison between two types of wisdom. He compares True Wisdom and False Wisdom. He contrasts Godly wisdom and ungodly wisdom. And from this comparison we discover three ways to become wise.

1.  Choose the Source of Your Wisdom

As James begins his comparison, he starts with the source of these two kinds of wisdom. The Source of True Wisdom is “Heaven.” Verse 17 says, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven…” This is a direct reference to a Person (God) more than a place (heaven). So what else does the Bible say about the source of true wisdom?

  • Christ is the Source of True Wisdom - Colossians 2:3 says, “…that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” And 1 Corinthians 1:30 says, “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.”
  • The Bible is the Source of True Wisdom - 2 Timothy 3:14-15 says, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”
  • Prayer Gives Us Access to True Wisdom - Finally, James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

In the same way True Wisdom has a source, so does false wisdom. James 3:14-15 says, “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.” Notice what James says about the source of false wisdom. He says its:

  • Earthly – In other words, false wisdom is confined to the present world and is restricted to the ideas and theories of people.
  • Unspiritual – It’s wisdom that’s corrupted by man’s fallen sinful nature.
  • Of the Devil – It’s ultimately rooted in Satan himself.

When you compare the source of false wisdom with the source of true wisdom, the choice seems obvious. But when it comes to the actual application of wisdom, the choice isn’t so easy. Why? Because false wisdom is our natural default response to life, whereas true wisdom requires faith. It requires faith in God. It requires faith in His Word. And it requires faith when God’s wisdom doesn’t even seem to make sense. That “faith” tension is why so many times we end up falling on the “false wisdom” side of things.

2.  Practice the Application of Wisdom

You can apply false wisdom or you can apply true wisdom. The choice is up to you. Look at what happens when you apply false wisdom. According to James 3:14, false wisdom has four characteristics: bitter envy, selfish ambition, pride, and lies. James said, “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”

Continue Reading…

In Leadership, Personal Growth Application, Bible on Leadership, Insight, Wisdom
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3 Phrases to Use in Coaching Conversations

October 31, 2012 — Leave a comment

Good coaching is significantly shaped by your ability to ask good questions. Because coaching is more about “drawing out” than “pouring in”, it is essential that you leverage question-asking to mine for the gold inside of your team members. Jesus was a master at coaching with questions.

Obviously the questions you ask vary based on the situation, as well as the responses, you are given. However, questions are not the only ingredient in a coach’s arsenal. “Coaching Phrases” are equally important. Here are three that I find particularly helpful:

1. “Unpack That For Me” - This is one of my favorite phrases. When I’m talking with a team member, I’ll often use this phrase after they’ve shared an idea, observation, or struggle. This is a great phrase to use when the suitcase has been unlocked and you need to open it to see what’s inside. It’s a permission-giving statement that allows you to hear what the person you’re coaching is really feeling or thinking. “Unpack that for me” often provides the backstory behind the situation at hand.

2. “Help Me Understand” - This is a good statement to use when you’re trying to understand the logic behind a team member’s ideas, thoughts, or actions. I’ve found it helpful in two situations: gaining clarity and giving correction. First, “Help me understand” brings clarity to “What” situations. It helps you better understand what a person means or what they intend to do. Second, “Help me understand” introduces the need for correction in “Why” situations. Rather than saying, “Why on earth did you ____________.” A better approach is to say, “Help me understand your thoughts behind why you did ___________.” It gives the person being coached the opportunity to share their reasoning before you provide any necessary correction.

3. “Tell Me Your Options” - This is a good phrase to use after listening to a situation in need of a solution. Rather than being the answer man, use the “Tell me your options” phrase to get people to think for themselves. That’s what good coaches do. Plus, it helps the person being coached own their problems and, just as importantly, own their solutions. You might even follow up the “Tell me your options” phrase with a “What else?” question. This helps them drill down on their options and not settle for the easiest answer.

Question: What other “coaching phrases” have you found helpful?

 

In Leadership Coaching, leadership development, Mentoring, Questions
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Using Your Words with Wisdom

October 30, 2012 — Leave a comment

In my last few posts I’ve shared some practical insights from the book of James. We talked about how to handle problems, how to face temptation, and how to move from hearing to doing. In this post I want to tackle another hot topic from James’ letter: Words. The words we speak have the power to shape not only our lives but the lives of others too. Whether it’s fellow employees, our family, or our friends, words often set the temperature of our interactions.

The New Testament letter of James provides some important insight on the tongue and the power of our words. In James’ day, Jewish leaders often referred to the tongue as an arrow because it could kill or do great harm from a distance. James begins his discourse on the tongue with a warning:

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. (James 3:1)

Why would James start his discourse on the tongue with a warning to teachers? Perhaps it’s because teachers talk…alot. Saying something wrong with one or two friends is bad enough. But saying something wrong when you’re teaching an entire group of people is even worse. The larger your platform of influence, the greater potential good (or harm) you can do with your words. And when teachers misuse that platform, James says we “will be judged more strictly.” He wasn’t discouraging people from teaching, but rather putting the responsibility of teaching in context. James continues:

We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. (James 3:2)

All of us know that none of us is perfect. So when James says, “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man…” he doesn’t mean that he’s a sinless person. The word “perfect” actually means “complete” or “mature”. The idea is that when a person is able to control his speech, he demonstrates maturity of heart. Jesus reinforced this same concept:

“How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.” (Matthew 12:34, The Message)

From here, James offers a number of thoughts about the tongue by making four comparisons:

1.  The Tongue is Like a Bit and a Rudder

James begins his comparison with these words:

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. (James 3:3-5)

In the same way that a bit controls the direction of a horse and a rudder controls the direction of a ship, the tongue controls the direction of our lives. And while that sounds easy, we know it’s very difficult. Why? Because your mouth gives voice to your nature. We all have a sin nature that wants to do its own thing, and our mouth fights continuously to verbalize whatever our sin nature wants to do. The tongue directs our lives.

2.  The Tongue is Like a Fire

Not only is the tongue like a bit and a rudder, it’s also resembles a fire. James 3:5b-6 says:

Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

James begins with the word “Consider” which implies paying close attention to what he’s about to say. He wants us to consider the fact that the tongue is like a spark that gives birth to a huge fire. Fire can be extremely destructive. Consider the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.

On the evening of October 8th, a fire started in Patrick and Catherine O’Leary’s barn. A news reporter embellished the story, saying that the fire started when O’Leary’s cow kicked over a lantern. While the cause of the fire is in question, the results are not. By the time the fire was contained on the morning of October 10th, it had destroyed 73 miles of roads, 2,000 lamp posts, 17,500 buildings, and $222 million of property. Approximately 300 people died and of the 300,000 inhabitants in Chicago, 100,000 were left homeless. What started as a small fire in a barn ultimately wiped out 3.3 square miles.

How could a fire burn for so long? Because fire has the ability to reproduce itself as long as there’s something to burn. James made a similar observation about the tongue:

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6)

How does that happen? Think about it! If a fire started in the kitchen of your home, and it was left to burn for a few minutes, it would destroy the entire kitchen before the fire department could arrive. But the damage would extend far beyond the kitchen. How? Because the smoke from the fire would permeate the walls of every other room in the house.

The tongue is the same way. As long as there’s something to talk about, something to gossip about, someone to slander, or someone to verbally assault, the tongue will continually reproduce destruction. The tongue is a fire but the smoke of the tongue’s destruction will permeate every other part of your life. That’s why James said, “…It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire…”

Here’s the point: Your ability, or lack of ability, to control the words that come out of your mouth not only impacts the condition of your life but also impacts the environment you create for those who you influence.

Tom Rath and Donald Clifton captured this truth powerfully in their book, How Full is Your Bucket where they explain the theory of the dipper and the bucket. According to Rath and Clifton, each of us has an invisible bucket that is emptied and filled by the words and actions of others, ultimately increasing or decreasing positive emotions. They also suggest that we each have an invisible dipper. With the dipper we can fill others’ buckets (with positive words and actions) or dip from others’ buckets (with negative words and actions). Interestingly, when we use the dipper to fill others with words of life, we actually fill our own buckets too. The point is clear: Your words, and the words of others, direct the relationships, productivity, and health of our lives.

Psalm 141:3 says, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” The tongue may be difficult to control, but when the tongue comes under Christ’s control, we have, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the ability to speak words of life. It’s better to fight a fire with words of life than go around setting new fires.

Continue Reading…

In Personal Growth Bible on Leadership, James, Organizational Culture, Proverbs, Wisdom, Words
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Moving From “Hearing” to “Doing”

October 22, 2012 — Leave a comment

Most of us are guilty of hearing far more than doing. We know what we ought to do but fail to execute on the knowledge we possess. As one man said, “We’re educated far beyond our own obedience.” The book of James offers some great insight on how to move from “hearing” to “doing”.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (James 1:22)

The idea of listening refers to someone who sits in an audience passively listening. If you have kids, you understand exactly what James means by “passive listening.” It’s the equivalent of listening “cafeteria style”…taking a little bit of this and a little bit of that while conveniently ignoring the main course of what you’re trying to say.

Passive listening goes something like this: “If you’ll make all As and Bs on your next report card like you did 10 years ago when you were in kindergarten, I’ll give you $50 next month.” But your kids hear: “Since you made all As and Bs on your report card when you were in kindergarten, I’m going to give you $50 a month for the next 10 years.” Passive listening at its best.

James continues with “Do what it says.” Doing is more than a one-time act of obedience; it implies being a “continual doer.” It’s not mindless action but rather obeying with all of your being…spirit, soul, mind, and emotions. James isn’t saying to just “do” but to “BE a doer.”

John MacArthur compares listening without doing to auditing a class in college. As an auditor, you enroll in, pay the tuition and fees for, and attend classes. However, you do not take tests, turn in papers, or complete any assignments. In other words, you “listen” to the course but you don’t “do” anything with what you hear. There’s no accountability, and therefore, no credit for the course. James’ warning is to avoid becoming a “spiritual auditor”where we hear what God’s Word says but we don’t act.

When we do become spiritual auditors, we “deceive ourselves.” James expounds on the idea of self-deception by using the illustration of a mirror. He writes:

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. (James 1:23-24)

When James wrote his letter, mirrors were typically nothing more than highly polished brass or bronze…or silver or gold if you were wealthy. Obviously a mirror like this provided only a dim or distorted reflection. What’s interesting is that the word James uses to describe “look” means more than a quick glance in the mirror. It actually implies “looking carefully” which is the only way you can look in a mirror made of brass or bronze.

James’ point is clear: When you’re a “hearer not a doer” of God’s Word, you may actually be listening carefully to what God’s Word says. But your careful listening is not translating into intentional doing. James continues:

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:25)

Continue Reading…

In Personal Growth
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How to Face Temptation

October 15, 2012 — 2 Comments

At the age of 17, Joni Earekson Tada was paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident. Joni acknowledge that she was no different than anyone else as she faced temptations through the valley of her experience. In her book, Secret Strength, Joni wrote:

“I was in my late 20’s, single, and with every prospect of remaining so. Sometimes lust or a bit of fantasizing would seem so inviting and so easy to justify. After all, hadn’t I already given up more than most Christians just by being disabled? Didn’t my wheelchair entitle me to a little slack now and then?”

Joni went on to ask her readers:

“When God allows you to suffer, do you have tendency to use your trials as an excuse for sinning? Or do you feel that since you’ve given God a little extra lately by taking abuse, that He owes you a “day off?”

That is the common response to temptation today….especially temptation born out of our tests, trials, and problems. When James wrote his New Testament letter, he understood this reality and offered two practical insights on how to face our temptations.

1.  RECOGNIZE THE CAUSE AND THE CONSEQUENCE

Every path we choose arrives at a destination filled with consequences. In fact, in large part, your life and my life today are the consequence of our decisions yesterday. Most of us can point to decisions we made when we were younger that have produced specific, sometimes very painful, consequences that we live with today. And when we look at those consequences it’s really easy to cast blame. We blame friends, family members, ex-spouses, former girlfriends, bad bosses, unmerciful teachers…we even blame God. And that’s where James starts his comments:

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. (James 1:13-16)

This passage addresses the Cause of temptation and the Consequence of sin by giving us a picture of a Cycle. Warren Wiersbe paints a picture of temptation in his commentary on the book of James using a four-stage process of sin. I like to refer to this process as the cycle of temptation illustrated in the diagram below:

Temptation Cycle

The cycle begins with DESIRE. James 1:14 says, “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire…” Notice that “desire” is not the problem. Desires are good. We all have desires to eat, desires to sleep, desires for sex, etc. It’s when the desires are perverted that we face temptation. Gluttony is the perversion of the desire to eat. Laziness is the perversion of the desire to sleep. Immorality is the perversion of the desire for sex.

The cycle continues with DECEPTION. Verse 14 wraps up with, “…he is dragged away and enticed.” James is using an illustration from the world of sports. Wiersbe observes that to “drag away and entice” has the idea of a hunter or a fisherman baiting a trap or baiting a hook. Animals don’t deliberately step into a trap and fish don’t deliberately bite a hook. The idea of “dragging away and enticing” is to hide the trap with bait. In our deception we like to say, “God, since you gave me the desire, then you must be the cause of my deception.”

Then the cycle of temptation moves to DISOBEDIENCE. Verse 15 begins, “Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin;” This is where our temptation actually translates into sin. The cycle concludes with DEATH as James notes, “…and sin, when it is full-grown gives birth to death.” Romans 6:23 captured it best when it says, “For the wages of sin is death…”

So how do we defeat the cycle of temptation? That brings us to our second point.   Continue Reading…

In Personal Growth Bible on Leadership, James, Temptation, Trials
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How to Handle Problems

October 14, 2012 — 2 Comments

The book of James was one of the earliest written books of the New Testament. James was a respected leader of the church in Jerusalem who dealt with some of the most practical issues of everyday life. Some have referred to James as the Proverbs of the New Testament. While the issues in James are common challenges, the advice James offers is uncommon wisdom.

Now, everybody faces problems. In James’ day, the problem the church was facing was persecution for their faith in Christ. So, straight out of the gate, James tackles this problem head on. Does he tell these early believers that God will comfort them in their problems? No! Does he offer encouraging words to those facing the fear of death? Nope! Does he speak words of affirmation, hope, or peace? Not one word! James offers three words of advice to those facing problems:

1. GAIN PERSPECTIVE

Whether big or small, every one of us have problems that fight to take center stage in our lives. The truth about problems is that we often add a problem to our problems. As if the cake wasn’t big enough already, we finish it off with a layer of problematic icing called “problematic perspective.” Perspective makes all the difference in how we view and respond to problems. In fact, without the right perspective, we live with a terminal case of nearsighted with our problems.

Consider the college girl who wrote a letter to her mom during her first semester of school. In an attempt to help her mom gain perspective, she wrote:

Dear Mom,

Since I have been away at college, one full semester, I think it’s time I bring you up to date as to what is going on. Shortly after I arrived at college, I got bored with dormitory life and stole fifty dollars from my roommate’s purse. With the money, I rented a motorcycle, which I crashed into a telephone pole a few blocks from the dorm.

I broke my leg in the accident, but I was rescued by the young doctor who lives upstairs in the apartment house on the corner. He took me in, set my leg, nursed me back to health, and thanks to him, I’m up and around again.

We wanted to let you know that we’re going to be married as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we’re having some trouble with the blood test—they’re not sure what the disease is, but it keeps showing up in the test. We hope to get that worked out quickly so that we’ll be married before the baby arrives. Shortly thereafter we will be home to live with you and Dad. And I just know you will learn to love the baby as much as you love me, even though the baby’s dad is a different religion and wants us to convert. Please understand, the only reason we’re coming back home to stay is that my husband-to-be got tossed out of medical school because he was too busy taking care of me to complete his work.

Really, Mom, I didn’t steal any money or rent a motorcycle or hit a telephone pole or break my leg. I didn’t meet a young doctor. There’s no disease and I’m not expecting a baby. And I won’t be coming home to live with you and Dad either. However, I am getting a D in algebra and an F in geology, and I wanted you to accept these grades in their proper perspective!

Perspective changes everything. The attitude with which we view our problems often determines the outcome. James understood this truth when he wrote:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (James 1:2-4 – The Message)

I don’t know about you, but James’ advice on how to view problems is not my natural response to the problems I face. I don’t see my problems as a sheer gift. But James understood this reality about problems: problems work for us, not against us. In fact, James helps us see that the problems we face in life do two things:

  • They REVEAL our Character – “…You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.”
  • They REFINE our Character – “…So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

Interestingly, James revisits the importance of perspective a few verses later:  Continue Reading…

In Leadership, Personal Growth Perseverance, Perspective, Prayer, Problems, The Bible on Leadership
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Multiplying Your Growth

September 15, 2012 — Leave a comment

The concept of multiplication isn’t new, especially in the world of leadership. While it may not happen as often as it should, most leaders understand that unless they move beyond the addition of workers to the multiplication of leaders, they will never maximize their potential, or the potential of the organization, ministry, or department they lead.

The same principle holds true with personal growth. You can grow yourself and even impact others, but multiplication is an entirely different level. In the same way a rock tossed in a pond creates a series of ripples, the Multiplying Level of personal growth initiates an enduring process of personal growth ripples. Those ripples form when you help somebody grow, and then they turn around and invest in the growth of others. At this level, personal growth revolutions spread and even have the potential to go viral.

My grandmother—Violet Morley—recently passed away at the age of 92. She wasn’t popular or famous or rich. You won’t find her name in the history books of earth. But you can be sure that her name is remembered in the halls of eternity. She was a deeply spiritual woman with an unwavering commitment to prayer.

I’m convinced that Grandma’s name was known in heaven and in hell—heaven because she spoke to Jesus daily, and hell because she fought the enemy fearlessly. She once told me, “We have to do many different things, but prayer is the main thing.”

On the day that she died, my mom told me that grandma’s life was like a ripple—an enduring set of prayer ripples. Those ripples were felt in countless lives as one friend and family member after another surrendered their lives to Christ. At her funeral, letters were read and messages were shared by people who grandma “prayed into the Kingdom.” On three separate occasions, those in attendance stood to their feet in applause of this tiny, insignificant lady who had a Mount Everest sized prayer life.

When I reflect on her prayer journey, I realize that she didn’t take the journey alone. She mentored others in prayer, and she passed her prayer habit on to future generations. Prayer was more than a personal habit. It was a multiplied habit. She might have been a little lady, but she grew and multiplied a contagious prayer life…in her, around her, and beyond her.

A great biblical example of the highest level of growth is found in the book of 1 Thessalonians. Paul, Silas, and Timothy express gratefulness in their letter to the church in the city of Thessalonica. After an initial greeting, they write:

For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. (1 Thessalonians 1:4-8)

I want you to see the personal growth ripples in this passage. It started with Paul, Silas, and Timothy when they said, “You know how we lived among you for your sake.” They began by living their growth. What they learned and thought transformed how they lived. Out of the overflow of personal transformation, they intentionally impacted the Thessalonians—“You became imitators of us and of the Lord…”

But the growth didn’t stop there. Multiplication kicked in: “And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere.”

What the Thessalonians received from Paul, Silas, and Timothy’s growth was more than an inspiring model that impacted how they lived. They were empowered to multiply that transforming work in the people around them. These men didn’t keep their growth a secret. Nor did the Thessalonians let the growth ripple end with them. They chose to invest in the believers in Macedonia and Achaia who then, invested in people “everywhere.” That’s exponential growth. That’s the power of multiplication. Paul, Silas, and Timothy’s personal growth started a growth revolution in people they never even met.

Question: What would have to happen for you to begin multiplying your growth through others?

This post was adapted from my book, GO! Starting a Personal Growth Revolution. You can order a copy in my store here or on Amazon or Kindle. GO! is also available from Barnes & Noble. For bulk orders, email me here.
In Leadership, Personal Growth Growth, Leadership, leadership development, Lifelong Learning, Multiplication, Personal Growth, Prayer
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How to Inspire Growth in Others

September 14, 2012 — Leave a comment

One of the most powerful, yet most underestimated, ways to inspire growth in others is through equipping relationships. Equipping relationships are any kind of growth-focused relationship such as coaching, mentoring, discipling, or small groups. These relationships help people close their growth gaps by equipping them with the knowledge and skills they need to maximize their potential. In the same way that equipping relationships were likely an essential part of your personal growth, you can also be an equipper for others.

Take coaching for example. Before you completely check out and dismiss yourself as “non-coach material” let me explain.

A coach is someone who provides assessment, insight, and motivation.

Now think about those three things as they relate to one of your close friendships. Have you ever helped a friend gain perspective by asking them a few clarity-boosting questions—questions that helped them cut through the fog surrounding their situation and think more clearly? If so, you’ve provided assessment.

After listening and helping them gain some perspective, did you ask your friend a few more questions that helped them come up with a solution to their problem or even led to an “aha” moment in their life? If so, then you’ve stimulated insight. And when things got tough for your friend, did you come along side them with an encouraging word that affirmed your belief in them? If so, then you’ve provided motivation. Essentially, you took A.I.M. at their potential and carried out the three functions of a coach: Assessment, Insight, and Motivation.

So why couldn’t you do that same thing for people around you who want to grow and need your help? That doesn’t mean you’re the “expert” life coach with the answers to all of life’s problems. I like to coach people, but I’ll also readily admit in which areas I have no business coaching people. I have the greatest coaching equity in my areas of strength…and so do you. Look for two or three areas in your life where you have passion and where you’ve honed your skills and acquired valuable experience. Then ask yourself, “How can I use this mix of strengths as a springboard to equip—or invest in—somebody else?”

When you’re intentional about growing yourself and building trust with people, opportunities will emerge to equip others. It might be over lunch with a co-worker, in an annual review with an employee, in a small group with other Christ followers, or through a meaningful connection with your children. In a world where growth-focused encouragement is a rare commodity, most people are more than willing to receive some extra confidence-building support from somebody who cares.

As you gain experience, why not make the role of an equipper part of your own growth plan. Identify a book or two that will help you understand how to invest in people or equip them to succeed. You might even participate in a leadership workshop, or if you’re really aggressive, look for a coaching certification program. Then, as you ratchet up your skills, seek out more intensive equipping relationship. For example:

  • Employees – Meet once a month with a new employee to discuss sticking points, help them get adjusted, or to coach them in their new role.
  • Volunteers – Meet with a volunteer (in the church or community) to help them refine their skills, learn their role, or assume greater responsibility.
  • New Followers of Christ – Meet a new believer once a week for prayer, Bible study, and accountability.
  • Students – Mentor a student in a new skill or help a college senior put together a resume.
  • Small Groups – Form a small group and focus on personal growth in a shared area of interest.

Entrepreneur and author Regi Campbell took the opportunity seriously to inspire growth in others. As a young Christian, Regi and his wife volunteered to lead a singles ministry in their church. It grew rapidly, and before long Regi was consumed with meetings as he invested in single men who were looking for practical advice. Feeling exhausted and wearing himself ragged, Regi heard Tim Elmore, an author and speaker committed to investing in young leaders, make this statement: “More time with fewer people equals greater kingdom impact.” That phrase started a journey for Regi that culminated in what he calls Next Generation Mentoring.

Since 2000, Regi has strategically invited a group of eight young business executives to join him at his home for a mentoring experience. The group meets once per month for twelve months and is committed to reading books, sharing their takeaways, memorizing Scriptures, praying together, and holding one another accountable. His mentoring process isn’t rocket science. It’s simply a clear strategy Regi has developed to leverage his personal growth to impact younger leaders.

In 2009, Regi published his ideas in a book titled, Mentor Like Jesus. He records the names of each of his mentees in his book and then he makes this observation:

In the past eight years, I’ve intentionally mentored sixty-four guys. Most report that they have a deeper, more meaningful walk with Jesus than they did before the next generation mentoring experience. They are disciples…learners and followers of Jesus. To my knowledge none have fallen away. All are still married. All are involved in a church. All are attempting to raise their kids in the faith. And from what I can tell, they are, to varying degrees, walking with God. (Mentor Like Jesus, 2009, p. 12)

These sixty-four men have grown as a result of Regi’s influence. He simply took his knowledge in the areas where he has grown the most, and intentionally invested it into a group of guys whom he was best equipped to help. He saw their potential, understood their needs, and knew what kind of deposit he could withdraw and invest into their lives. As a result, he’s helped start a personal growth revolution in 64 men.

You can do the same thing Regi did. Maybe it won’t be a mentoring group, but you can take the areas where you’ve grown the most and use them to impact somebody else. Each one of us has influence—even if only with a small handful of people. You might influence your family, a small group of friends, or even an entire division in your company. The question isn’t “how many” but “how intentionally.” How intentionally are you helping others grow? Are you using your influence to deliberately unlock peoples’ potential? When you do, you’ll experience the power of the Impacting Level.

Question: What step can you take to begin inspiring growth in others this week?

This post was adapted from my book, GO! Starting a Personal Growth Revolution. You can order a copy in my store here or on Amazon or Kindle. GO! is also available from Barnes & Noble. For bulk orders, email me here.

 

In Personal Growth Coaching, Equipping, Growth, Learning, Lifelong Learning, Mentoring, Personal Growth
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How to Turn Personal Application into Personal Transformation

September 13, 2012 — Leave a comment

Your life is the result of your “inside decisions.” Inside decisions define your habits—whether good or bad. What happens on the inside manifests itself by your habits on the outside. In Colossians 1:9, the Apostle Paul writes,

“…we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.”

This verse reveals a natural progression in the growth process: It begins first with knowledge, then moves toward spiritual wisdom and understanding.

The word Paul used for knowledge is epignōsis (eh-PIG-noh-sis). Author and professor Dr. William Yount (1996) describes epignōsis as “a knowledge that reaches out and grasps its object and is in turn grasped by its object.” What you learn becomes more than knowledge—it changes how you live. You grasp the knowledge, and the knowledge grasps you. It forms a new habit. Yount further observes,

“Epignōsis moves beyond mere head knowledge to what we might call ‘heart’ knowledge: a knowledge that affects the way we live. To be filled with the epignōsis of His will means to take hold of God’s Word, and allow God’s Word to take hold of us.” 

As this knowledge becomes understanding, it finds application—what Jesus calls “wisdom.” He says in Matthew 7:24, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (emphasis mine). Learning allows you to gain knowledge. Thinking allows you to understand that knowledge. Living is where you finally see it translated into wisdom—through application.

When you decide to apply what you’ve been learning, you walk right into new habits. You begin actually doing what you’ve been learning and thinking about. You leap from possibles to actuals. A debate rages inside you at the Thinking Level of personal growth? The Living Level silences it once and for all. The rubber meets the road. You’re committed. President John F. Kennedy once said:

“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”

You just passed the last exit for comfortable inaction. The risks of action are straight ahead.

When you adopt a new habit, there is evidence of a transformed life. Everything’s actually happening. You’re doing more than accumulating knowledge; now you’re applying its lessons to your everyday life. The things you decide aren’t just idealistic; they’re realistic. You’re practicing, implementing, and completely applying. Your knowing has become your growing. You’re no longer pointing to how you want to grow; now you’re pointing to the evidence that you are growing. Your learning feeds new habits (habits of the head, hands, and heart), which demonstrate a transformed life.

Personal transformation is difficult. Human beings resist change, and the process of forming new habits isn’t easy. And while we work hard to form new habits of the head (how we think) and new habits of the hands (what we do), changing habits of the heart is entirely different.

Your heart represents the very core of who you are, which is why it’s the hardest thing to change in your life. The best way—in fact, the only way—to reach true, honest, heart transformation is to allow the Spirit of Christ to do the transforming. If you try to just “do” the right behaviors without God’s Spirit changing you on the inside, you’ll find yourself with little more than two legalistic lists: Do’s and Don’ts. Don’t do that to yourself.

Your Work (the discipline) x God’s Work (the transformation) = Exponential Life Change

The writer of Hebrews chastised the Hebrew Christians for being “slow to learn.” (Hebrews 5:11) He wasn’t criticizing their mental abilities. It was their spiritual laziness that was the problem. They were resisting the path to maturity by staying on “milk” instead of moving up to “solid food.” Hebrews 5:14 says, “But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” To get that maturity, you have to fully trust Christ and practice personal application through disciplined intentionality.

Notice that both “constant use” and “training yourself” are required. In fact, Jesus said,

“If you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards” (Matthew 7:26–27, MSG).

Did you catch that? You have to “work” God’s word into your life. New habits don’t form by themselves. Learning without applying what you have learned is just plain laziness. Lazy Learning = Lukewarm Living.

We must do what we can do (the discipline), and let God do what only He can do (the transformation). The Apostle Paul described God’s transforming work when he challenged the church at Ephesus to abandon their old way of life, inviting them instead to “take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.”

What an amazing picture. Take a moment to imagine what it might look like for God to “reproduce his character in you.” No matter how much you have your act together, you’ll never be able to take the place of God. Reproducing His character inside of us is God’s job, not yours or mine. Our job is simply to trust Him and cooperate with His Spirit.

If you consider yourself a follower of Christ, but you’re not willing to allow Him to transform you, then you’re what Craig Groeschel calls a “Christian atheist”: you believe in God, but you live as if He doesn’t exist. And if you’ve never surrendered your heart to Christ, are you willing to take that step? Are you willing to say “yes” to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit when He comes to live inside of you? A fully devoted “yes” to Christ’s transforming work will turn your personal growth efforts into a powerful makeover of the soul.

Question: What needs to happen to move beyond good intentions and actually see transformation take place in your life?

This post was adapted from my book, GO! Starting a Personal Growth Revolution. You can order a copy in my store here or on Amazon or Kindle. GO! is also available from Barnes & Noble. For bulk orders, email me here.

 

In Personal Growth Application, Growth, Learning, Lifelong Learning, Personal Growth, Transformation
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Change Your Thinking with the “Thinking Seesaw”

September 12, 2012 — Leave a comment

The formation of beliefs and assumptions is a lot like a seesaw—you might have called it a teeter-totter as a kid. When you and your buddy sat on a teeter-totter, you would soar into the air as your feet launched you upward, and then, just as quickly, sink downward as your friend’s feet left the ground. While the up and down motion felt exhilarating, and perhaps even unsettling at times, your confidence was grounded in one thing—the base at the center of the seesaw. No matter how quickly you pushed up and how hard you came down, you knew the base wasn’t going anywhere. It was your anchor.

In personal growth, thinking is the mental teeter-totter at work. On one end of the seesaw are ideas, on the other end are practices, and in the middle—serving as the base—are absolutes.

 

Thinking Seesaw

Ideas are insights for living. They can fill your mind rapidly as you read great books, hear inspiring speeches, explore creative environments, or interact with wise mentors. As you activate a personal growth plan, there’s a good chance your mind will be saturated by fresh ideas in the areas of your life where you’ve chosen to grow. Some of these ideas will be proven, but others will be more like theories waiting to be tested as a practice.

Practices are strategies for achieving. If you’ve been around business for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “best practices.” Best practices are those methods of doing business that are considered to deliver the best results. They are usually proven strategies for achieving the highest levels of success. There are also “best practices” in other areas of life too—spiritually, mentally, relationally and physically. And as you engage in lifelong learning, you’ll likely uncover some of these best practices in the areas where you’ve chosen to grow.

Ideas and practices freely move up and down on each side of the thinking seesaw. Your mental feet leave the ground as you learn new ideas and experiment with new practices. This flexibility keeps false assumptions and misinformed beliefs from becoming entrenched in your thinking. Eventually you’re able to settle on ideas and practices that actually work and leverage them to help you close your growth gaps.

I was working with a team of leaders a while back when we decided to evaluate the effectiveness of our small group ministry. We spent six weeks meeting together to take a hard look at our strengths and weaknesses, as well as ways to improve. This process allowed us to bring our ministry assumptions under the microscope. The mental teeter-totter was aggressively moving up and down as we examined fresh ideas and best practices.

At first it almost felt like chaos, unsure where things were going to land. The longer we sat on the thinking seesaw, the more exciting ideas we collected—several of which were untested—and the more we observed powerful best practices. But eventually we settled on a handful of ideas and practices—a refined model—that increased the health of our small groups. None of that would have been possible had we not been willing to challenge our assumptions and get comfortable with letting our feet leave the ground.

Are there areas of your life where you’ve abandoned the seesaw? Why not get on the teeter-totter once again as you put your growth plans to work. After all, what’s the point of crafting a growth plan if you’re not willing to challenge your long-held assumptions? Don’t be scared of the up and down motion—it’s necessary, even indispensable, if you want to gravitate toward the ideas and practices that will actually help you grow. This process is unsettling at times, which is why you need the security of your seesaw’s base—absolutes.

While ideas and practices are key components to challenging assumptions and forming beliefs, it’s important to remember that they are not absolutes. Absolutes are anchors of belief. Absolutes are the base of the seesaw. They are fixed—immovable. Absolutes are non-negotiable truth that does not change regardless of time, culture, or geography. In fact, absolute truth originates outside of yourself. Whether or not you believe absolutes does not change the fact that they’re still true. Absolutes don’t need your or my permission to be the truth—they stand as truth just fine regardless of our opinion. Absolutes are fully trustworthy and apply to everybody. They serve as the litmus test before embracing new beliefs, engaging new practices, or deeming a new idea as worthy of pursuit.

As human beings, we tend to drift toward the path of least resistance. If we’re not careful, we’ll adopt ideas and practices that are culturally acceptable, yet violate absolute truth. As you field-test ideas and practices, absolute truth keeps you grounded and helps you avoid the dangerous lure of deception. For this reason, I’ve adopted Original Truth—the Bible—as my source for absolute truth.

What is the base, the immovable absolutes, of your thinking seesaw? Without a rock-solid base, your ideas (those insights for living) and your practices (those strategies for achieving) will do more than keep you culturally relevant, they will ever so slowly mislead you.

When absolutes are firmly established as the base for your thinking, you can easily challenge your assumptions and beliefs. You can bring the ideas and practices—those things you’re gleaning in your learning journey—into the light where you can examine their validity. And you can climb onto the thinking seesaw—grounded in absolute truth—where you can continually explore fresh ideas and best practices.

Embracing absolutes does not mean you’ll live a sinless life. I believe Scripture is absolute truth, but I struggle every day to live that truth. I’m far from perfect. I sin. It’s a daily battle. But having a firm base to anchor my life and thinking to keeps me calibrated in the right direction. Without the base, my life would be nothing more than a soupy mess of misguided philosophies. Even the Apostle Paul said, “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ” (Colossians 2:8).

At the Thinking Level of personal growth, beliefs are challenged and formed by learning new ideas and embracing best practices while allowing absolutes to serve as the final authority. Keep these three things in perspective.

Question: Are you leveraging the thinking seesaw to keep your mind fresh and your life relevant. What is the base of your thinking seesaw?

This post was adapted from my book, GO! Starting a Personal Growth Revolution. You can order a copy in my store here or on Amazon or Kindle. GO! is also available from Barnes & Noble. For bulk orders, email me here.

 

In Personal Growth Attitude, Growth, Ideas, Learning, Personal Growth, Practices, Thinking, Truth
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