Credibility is foundational for a leader who wants to gain forward momentum. It’s also essential if you’re going to get others to follow you into a bold vision of the future. And yet, all of us make mistakes. We all do things and say things that have the potential to undermine our credibility, and if we’re not careful, those mistakes can have long-term ramifications. So, how do you manage these two realities. Simply put, how do you increase your credibility after you make a mistake? Here are four insights to get you started.
1. Credibility Increases When You Own Your Mistakes
None of us are proud of our mistakes. They make us look bad, and sometimes they’re downright embarrassing. But the biggest mistake you can make with your mistakes is to not own them. In fact, the counter-intuitive reality is that when you own your mistakes, your credibility tends to tick upward. Why? Because most people don’t. Owning mistakes is rare in our culture, and people would rather dodge them and deny them than deal with them honestly. However, your credibility is most likely to increase after a mistake when you own it quickly, fully, and apologetically.
credibility is most likely to increase after a mistake when you own it quickly, fully, and apologetically.
First, quick ownership keeps the mistake from morphing into a far bigger problem. Plus, when you can admit your faults quickly, people tend to give grace more freely. The fact that you were proactive about owning your mistake tells them that you are a responsible person who made a mistake, rather than an irresponsable person that just happened to get caught.
Second, full ownership is all about owning everything that went wrong, rather than blaming this part on Person A, and that part on Company B, and another part on System C. Just own it…all of it. Excuses are nothing more than a different name for non-ownership.
Finally, apologetic ownership is expressing a sincere apology for making the mistake. It’s not saying, “I’m sorry if you feel…” Apologizing for how somebody feels is not an apology; it’s a heartless disqualification of the pain somebody else feels. Instead, say, “I’m sorry for…” Then admit what you did wrong. Be genuine and sincere. Ask for forgiveness, and pledge not to do it again. When you take these steps, people will actually adopt a higher view of you. Your credibility usually goes up because you responded the way they hoped you would respond (they way you should respond).
2. Credibility Increases When You Fix Your Mistakes
After you own a mistake, you have to fix it. In other words, you have to take responsibility to make things right. For example, if you said you would do something (and you never did), you need to go back and fix it. If you promised to deliver a report that still hasn’t been done, you need to get the report finished and on your boss’s desk by first thing in the morning. Fixing is all about taking the action you failed to take to deliver the outcome you failed to produce.
Think of “fixing” like the evidence of “owning.” Fixing is the proof that what you said when you owned the mistake was more than words. It was a commitment to make things right. But owning and fixing is amplified with the next insight.
3. Credibility Increases When You Learn from Your Mistakes
Most people will offer forgiveness and readily give you another chance if you have owned your mistake quickly, fully, and apologetically. And if you fix your mistake, they’ll generally be pleased with your actions. However, if you keep making the same mistake, your long-term credibility will sink. Owned mistakes are forgiven. Repeated mistakes are hard to forget.
A repeated mistake means you didn’t learn from the mistake. You might have fixed it once, but you didn’t learn enough to make permanent change. Instead, you made a career out of the mistake. Think of repeated mistakes like a slow leak in your tire. You might be able to go for several days—perhaps a couple of weeks—without addressing it, but eventually you’ll find yourself stuck on the side of the road. Instead of moving forward, you’ll be trying to convince everyone why they should keep following you (or why you should be allowed to keep your job).
Mistakes take a withdrawal out of the bank account of trust, but repeated mistakes put you into overdrawn status. And here’s the crazy part…you’ll have to work twice as hard to regain (and keep) your credibility. It’s always easier to follow owning a mistake with fixing the mistake. But the real growth happens when you learn enough from the mistake that you make permanent and long-lasting changes.
It’s always easier to follow owning a mistake with fixing the mistake. But the real growth happens when you learn enough from the mistake that you make permanent and long-lasting changes.
For example, if you’re regularly late to work, learning from the mistake will cause you to arrive early (notice, I didn’t say arrive on time). You have to show people that you’re serious about doing things differently. If you treated a team member poorly, you have to change your attitude, your tone, and the way you interact with them (not just once, but from this point forward). If you’re failing to get the job done, you have to step it up and start delivering consistent results so the rest of your team can count on you. Learning from your mistakes doesn’t just look for a temporary fix, but rather a solution that delivers superior outcomes. It isn’t learning to get by, it’s learning to get better. It
4. Credibility Multiplies When You Coach Others Through Their Mistakes
Some people are so scared of making mistakes because they fear consequences from the top. As leaders, our job is to create an environment of truth and grace. In other words, there must be truth (we acknowledge and own our mistakes), accompanied by grace (we freely extend forgiveness and offer a second chance). Both of these ingredients—truth and grace—are best expressed through coaching.
It’s a best practice to meet one-on-one (weekly or bi-weekly) with each person who reports directly to you. The purpose of the meeting is to give your direct reports an opportunity to discuss anything on their agenda that will help them do their job effectively. However, there will also be times in those meetings when you’ll need to address a mistake. That’s where coaching comes in. Rather than dropping the truth bomb and then sending them out of your office in tears, give them truth wrapped in grace. Coach them through their mistake.
Sometimes I’ll approach these conversations by saying, “Can I give you some coaching?” If you have a history of treating them respectfully, they’ll always say yes. Then, provide your observations about their mistake, offer a couple of tips to help them improve, and then let them know you believe in them. Simply put, take AIM at their potential: Assess performance, offer valuable Insight so they can improve, and Motivate them with words of belief and encouragement. Sometimes you don’t even have to give them any tips. You can just ask the right questions to draw the insight out of them.
This simple (but profoundly important point) will increase your credibility. Why? Because your team members will still feel respected by you, even though you had to address their mistake. They’ll appreciate the opportunity to grow through the mistake instead of being beat up for the mistake.
So, if mistakes are undermining your credibility, start by owning them and fixing them. Then, be sure you learn from the mistake so you can create healthy, long-term change. Finally, help others grow through their mistakes by providing coaching so they can improve.
