There’s an old saying that is generally very true: “Unsought feedback is rarely heeded.” Simply put, if somebody doesn’t ask for your feedback, they’re unlikely to follow it if you give to them. So, what do you do when you want to give feedback to someone outside of your lane? In other words, how do you provide “unsought feedback” in areas where you have no responsibility?
For example, there will be times when you have an idea or suggestion for how another team member can do their job with a greater level of effectiveness. It is not your job to do their job (which is why you should generally stay in your lane), but your perspective could prove extremely beneficial. So, how do you offer feedback to help them improve without veering into their lane and appearing to grab hold of the steering wheel. Consider starting with these three strategies:
1. Provide Your Feedback Privately
Public feedback can blindside team members, and it has the potential to embarrass people, break trust, and create unnecessary friction and division. Unless the feedback is being sought in a group planning or brainstorming session, it’s best to offer the feedback privately.
Private feedback creates safety. It sets the table for others outside of your lane to listen carefully to what you have to say. Not only will this approach garner greater respect, but it will also improve the odds of your feedback being received.
2. Pace Your Feedback Appropriately
People want feedback, but if they feel like you’re giving them a constant stream of ideas or suggestions, they may start to resent you and the feedback you’re trying to offer to them. Discover the right pace to provide feedback so that others are more receptive to your ideas.
The pace of your feedback will usually be impacted by two things: position and personality. When it comes to position, you may be able to give feedback at a quicker pace if you hold a higher position of leadership in the organization. If you’re the newest member of a team, you may have to slow the pace of your feedback until you earn the team’s trust. You have unique perspective—which the team needs to hear—but the pace at which you deliver it will determine their receptivity to it.
When it comes to personality, yours and theirs will set the pace for feedback. For example, people outside your lane are more likely to receive feedback if your personality is warm and cordial. Personalities that are more direct or abrasive will have to offer feedback at a much slower pace. Similarly, if the person you’re giving feedback to has a personality that is resistant to change, you’ll need to slow your feedback pace to allow time for the ideas to be processed and absorbed.
3. Position Your Feedback Wisely
Positioning feedback is all about how you introduce feedback to a fellow team member. Always exhibit dignity, truth, and grace. At the same time, consider carefully how you should introduce the feedback. You might position your feedback with a statement like:
- “Hey John, I came across an idea the other day that I thought you might be interested in. Do you have a minute…I’d love to share it with you?”
- “Hey Janet, I noticed something in the presentation last week that I wanted to ask you about. Do you have a minute that we could talk?”
- “Hey Mark, do you have a minute? Somebody shared something with me Sunday about worship, and I thought you might want to be aware of it. First, I want you to know that I had your back, and I told this person that they should come and talk to you personally about it. But if I was in your shoes, I’d want a heads up about it, so I wanted to see if I could share it with you.”
- “Hey Elizabeth, do you have a minute? I was at lunch yesterday with Bill and he was telling me that his teenagers were struggling to get connected with other students at the church. I encouraged him to come and talk with you about it, and that you would be more than happy to connect with them. But after I left the conversation, I got to thinking about something that might be a great idea. Do you mind if I share it with you?”
Statements like these will help you position your feedback in a way that increases a higher likelihood of receptivity. Each example is a warm introductory statement that creates curiosity and openness.
These three steps will help you give feedback outside of your lane. Once you provide the feedback, it’s up to them whether or not to accept it and act on it, but the odds increase if you take this approach.
