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In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “The 5 Faces of Pride in Leadership.” Humility is often the forgotten ingredient in effective leaders, but it is essential to the health of our soul and the health of our leadership.
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SHOW NOTES:
Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” Pride is destructive to our souls, but the destruction doesn’t end there. Pride is also destructive to our leadership. In other words, when we’re prideful, we not only undermine our own lives, but we undermine those we influence. So, what does pride look like in leadership? A closer look at the Pharisees in Matthew 23 reveals five faces of pride in leadership.
1. Pretending
In Matthew 23:1-3 Jesus said, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach.” And in the remainder of this chapter, Jesus calls the Pharisees as hypocrites six times. Pretending says, “Do as I say not as I do.”
2. Power
Matthew 23:4 says, “They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.” What were these “unbearable religious demands” that Jesus was referring to? It wasn’t God’s Law. It was the 613 laws the Pharisees added to God’s Law. So, you can only imagine how the Pharisees felt when Jesus came along and simplified everything down to only two Laws: Love God and Love People.
But that wasn’t good enough for the Pharisees because their pride had blinded them. And as a result, their pride was causing them to abuse their power to get people to obey all of their man-made laws. Whereas the “Pretender” face of pride says, “Do as I say not as I do,” the “Power” face of pride says, “Do as I say, or else…” The “Power” face of pride is based on self-serving, fear-based demands. But that’s not what a spirit of humility does.
3. Perception
Perception is all about how I see myself, and, how I think others see me. So, how does a prideful person see themselves? They see themselves as better than everyone else. Matthew 23:5 says, “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.” Perception says, “Look at me. Aren’t I great?”
The reason perception is such a deceptive face of pride is because it’s not based on reality. Instead, it’s based on a version of ourselves that only exists in our heads. And in our heads, we think we’re bigger and better than we really are.
4. Perks
We love perks, don’t we? We love to be escorted to the seat of honor. We love to show our friends our awards, prizes, and possessions. We love to casually mention in conversation that our office is in the C-Suite. Perks and privileges make us feel important. But the moment perks make us feel important, is also the moment our identity has been stolen from us. Because if who you are is based on what you have, then your life has become a hollow shell of deception.
Jesus said, “And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues” (Matthew 25:6). Perks says, “I deserve it, and I’m entitled to it.”
Now, does that mean that all perks are wrong? No. But, because perks have a way of making us feel like we deserve them and we’re entitled to them, we need a filter for our perks. My friend Steve Moore developed a great filter for perks when he developed these five questions.
- Do I need—fill in the blank—for example, bigger office, special parking space, or private bathroom—to do my job more effectively?
- Is this—fill in the blank—a legitimate reward for my performance?
- Does this—fill in the blank—create distance or separation, real or perceived, between me and the people I’m leading?
- Does this—fill in the blank—increase my vulnerability to pride and egocentrism?
- Would this—fill in the blank—make it hard for me to let go of my leadership role, even if I knew God was directing me to do so?
Those are great questions to ask when it comes to any perks we might receive in leadership. And that brings us to the last face of pride in leadership.
5. Position
Jesus said, “They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’ “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters. And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah” (Matthew 23:7-10).
Position says, “I’m more important than you because my position is higher than yours.” Gerald Brooks offers a better perspective when he says, “The higher up you go in leadership, the less you get to think about yourself.”And C.S. Lewis said, “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”
Whichever face of pride it is—and we all struggle with at least one of them—let Jesus redefine your leadership with a different approach. Immediately following this description of pride exhibited by the Pharisees, Jesus says this in Matthew 23:11-12: “The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
We all struggle with pride, but Jesus makes it clear what defines true greatness. True greatness is defined by humility, and our commitment to serve others.
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