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In today’s episode of the Leader Fluent Podcast, I’m talking about “Four Ways to Handle Criticism in Leadership.” Criticism is an increasing problem in the leadership landscape. It might be a problem, but how we handle it can become a bigger problem. 

If you’re not already a subscriber, I’d love for you to subscribe to Leader Fluent today on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Android, Pandora, or your favorite podcasting platform. And as always, your RATINGS and REVIEWS are deeply appreciated. 

SHOW NOTES:

You don’t have to be in leadership for long to realize that criticism comes with the territory. People have opinions, and they’re not afraid to share them. That was certainly the case for Nehemiah when he began rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.

Nehemiah 4:1-3 says, “When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, ‘What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?’ Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, ‘What they are building—even a fox climbing up on it would break down their wall of stones!’”

These weren’t subtle grumblings under their breath. These were blatant criticisms meant to dissuade Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem from completing the way. But they didn’t Nehemiah or the people of Jerusalem. They doubled down on their efforts until the wall was finally finished in only 52 days. 

What about you? What critiques are your critics lobbing onto your leadership and the ministry God has entrusted to you? More importantly, how are you responding? Here are four ways to respond appropriately. 

1. Consider the Source

Everybody has an opinion, but that doesn’t mean you need to give every opinion equal weight. 

Sanballat and Tobiah were neither trustworthy nor interested in Nehemiah’s success. Quite the opposite. They schemed to harm Nehemiah (6:2), were relentless in their efforts to distract him (6:3-4), told lies to him and about him (6:5-9), and repeatedly tried to intimidate him (6:10-14, 19). Their critiques were born out of fear and intimidation rather than genuine care for Nehemiah and Jerusalem.

You will encounter criticism, but when it comes, consider the source. Disagreement doesn’t mean disloyalty. We must ask, is the source credible and caring? Are they trustworthy people who genuinely want what’s best for you AND for the organization? 

If they only want what’s best for you, your leadership will become self-serving. And if they only want what’s best for the organization, they may be fine bulldozing you in the process. The source needs be both CREDIBLE AND CARING. Being credible gives them permission to speak into the good of the organization. And being caring sets the tone in how they treat you in the process. 

2. Look for the Truth

There was no truth in the criticisms coming from Sanballat and Tobiah. Again, they lied to and about Nehemiah (6:5-9), and Nehemiah had the discernment to know they were lying. However, that’s not always the case. Even in hard criticisms, sometimes there’s a kernel of truth. 

Several years ago, I heard Carey Nieuwhof interview Scott Sauls, a pastor from Nashville who once worked with author and pastor Tim Keller. In the interview, Scott Sauls shared a powerful response Keller had toward criticism. Sauls said, “In a dozen false things said about him, he would search for a kernel of truth that he could repent of, because every opportunity for repentance is an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus.”

What a powerful practice. When Keller found the kernel of truth, he would humbly admit it and pray over it. Notice, Sauls didn’t say, “He searched for a kernel of truth he could agree with.” Truth sets us free, and Tim Keller was determined to embrace truth, even when it hurt. 

3. Control Your Response

Nobody likes criticisms. In fact, not only do we not like it, but we often have a visceral response to it that’s equally critical. In fact, harsher criticism is often how we repay our critics. 

But you can’t search for truth if you’re swinging a sword. You have to control your response. Why? Because your response does three things: it reveals, reinforces, and reproduces. 

First, your response reveals your level of maturity. Calm demeanors are more mature than rash reactions. Second, your response reinforces the truth. If somebody criticizes you for always being defensive, and then you respond in a defensive manner, the truth has been reinforced by your response. Third, your response reproduces patterns of behavior. In other words, how you respond to criticism will make the situation better or worse. Simply put, your response will reproduce bad behavior or good behavior. 

4. Protect Your Heart

Protecting your heart requires important spiritual habits such as prayer, worship, confession, and Bible Study. It requires a community of safe friends, wise coaches, and sometimes counselors. These are the practices that help you process your pain and remain spiritually and emotionally whole. 

What’s the alternative? If you’re not proactive about protecting your heart, criticism will turn into cynicism. You’ll become bitter, untrusting, angry, and resentful. 

What kind of criticism are you facing right now? Do an honest assessment of how you are responding. Then, consider the source, look for the truth, control your response going forward, and protect your heart. It won’t be easy, but it’s the mature way to handle our critics. 

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