If you could ask Jesus any question, what would you ask him? What’s it like in heaven? Why haven’t you healed my friend? When are you going to give me a new job? Why is there so much suffering in the world?

In the Gospel of Matthew, a member of Jesus’ team posed a question…really a request. He said, “Lord, teach us to pray.” Jesus began by telling them how not to pray. Then he turned a corner with three transforming words—“pray like this.”

I can imagine everyone in earshot leaning in to hear what Jesus would say next. If they had pencil and paper, they would have pulled it out and started taking notes. The words that followed are what you and I commonly refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer.” Jesus said:

“Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.” (Matthew 6:9-13)

For most of us, prayer is about us. We see prayer as a way to get what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. But in this handful of verses, Jesus redefines prayer, and leaders have a lot to learn from what He said.

Jesus begins, “Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy” (Matthew 6:9b). From this single verse, we discover four truths that reveal prayer as a relationship rather than a transaction. I’d like to apply these four truths to the life of a leader.

Prayer as a Relationship, not a Transaction:

1. We are Adopted by Him

Jesus began His prayer with “Our Father.” God’s obviously not our biological dad, and yet Jesus tells us to pray to “Our Father.” Why? Because through Christ we are adopted into our Heavenly Father’s family. The apostle Paul said:

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” (Romans 8:15-16)

The word adoption in this passage means to be “placed in a position and rights as one’s own child.” In the same way parents choose a child through the adoption process, your Heavenly Father has chosen you.

Many leaders are driven to perform because they could never satisfy their earthly Father’s expectations. But “Our Father” gives us security. We don’t have to earn His love, His approval, or His grace. We begin our prayers with, “Our Father” because our prayers are not based on a transaction with God, but rather a relationship with God—the God who adopted us into His family.

As a leader, establishing your identity first and foremost as a child of God (loved by your Heavenly Father) not only makes you healthy, but also provides a healthy foundation for the organization you lead.

2. We Show Affection for Him

God was often seen as a far off, distant, unknowable God. But when Jesus called God “Father,” it was deeply personal and intimate. The word Jesus used for “Father,” was “Abba,” which means Papa or Daddy. It was a term that showed deep intimacy and affection.

The point Jesus was making was that prayer is much more than a laundry list of your needs and wants. Prayer is first and foremost about cultivating affection for God—Papa God, Daddy God.

As a leader, you carry a heavy load. Your responsibilities impact more than just you. You never have a shortage of things to pray about. But prayer cannot be restricted to your list. As author and pastor Gerald Brooks observed, “I can’t let my prayer list become my prayer life.” When your prayer list becomes your prayer life, you fall out of intimacy with God. You let the requests become more valuable than the relationship. When was the last time you prayed not to get something from God, but simply to get to know God?

[bctt tweet=”I can’t let my prayer list become my prayer life. ~ Gerald Brooks” username=”stephenblandino”]

3. We Have Access to Him

Jesus said to pray, “Our Father in heaven…” (Matthew 6:9b). Those opening words make something very clear—we have access to God. Leaders often gain access to people and places because of the influence they carry. But your influence isn’t what gives you access to God. As a member of His family—like every other family member—you have access to your Father.

I love how Pastor Ed Litton describes this idea of access. A father has a home, and as members of the household, his children have full access to him. But there’s a difference between family members living in the house and renters living in the house. A renter can ask the Father for something, but only if he pays his rent on time. Children of the Father are different; they don’t pay rent. A child can come into the Father’s presence at anytime…even when it’s not convenient. Why? Because a child has total access to the Father because of the Father’s love for his child.

The same is true with God. We are not renters; we are children. Because we have a relationship with Father God, we can enter his presence at any time. The writer of Hebrews captured this idea so powerfully when he said:

“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

As a leader, you don’t have to solve your problems, or your organization’s problems, alone. You have access to someone far greater than a mountain of money or a pool of movers and shakers. You have access to your Heavenly Father. He is infinitely greater than your biggest leadership challenge and your deepest personal pain. Who you know isn’t as important as whose you are.

4. We Exhibit Adoration of Him

Verse 9 concludes, “Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.” The phrase, may your name be kept holy means to “honor as holy.” In other words, in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we adore Him, and revere Him, as the Holy God that He is. The deeper you know God, the more you know Him for who He is, not just what He does.

Yes, God heals, provides, and comforts, but that’s because He IS our Healer, Provider, and Comforter. But who He is isn’t just tied to what He does. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, and the Beginning and the End. He is Almighty God, Righteous God, and Emmanuel, God with us. He is our Father.

If we’re not careful, our prayer lives will become so consumed with what God does, that we’ll forget who God is. When Jesus told his disciples how to pray, He began with who not what. He began with adoration of His Father’s name. Prayer is not primarily about getting something from God; it’s about getting to know God. Again, prayer is all about relationship.

[bctt tweet=”Prayer is not primarily about getting something from God; it’s about getting to know God.” username=”stephenblandino”]

You might be known for what you do at work, how you lead in the community, or the even the transformation you’ve created in your industry. But that’s what you do.

Who are you?

You are son or daughter, husband or wife, mom or dad. You are child of God. That’s your true identity. Your true identity far outshines your identity as a leader.

The Lord’s Prayer shapes the way you lead because it centers your attention on your Heavenly Father. It’s about a relationship, not a transaction. In a world where leadership is so often focused on us, our efforts, and our achievements, Jesus reminds us to focus our attention first on our Father in Heaven. You’ve been adopted by Him and have access to Him. Show Him your affection, and give Him your adoration. If you’re going to lead through prayer, it begins by recognizing prayer as a means to a relationship, not a transaction.