Okay, I have to be honest about something that kinda irritates me. Sometimes when I’m talking to a guy, I’ll hear him refer to his wife with a particular phrase that frankly sounds disrespectful. Or, if I haven’t seen a friend in a long time, I’ll occasionally hear this same phrase when he asks me about my wife. You’ve probably heard the phrase too…maybe you’ve even used it a time or two yourself.

So, what’s the phrase? Imagine you’re talking to a co-worker and somewhere in the conversation he says, “So, how’s the wife?” Or a friend invites you and your spouse to dinner, and you reply, “I’ll have to check with the wife.” Or somebody you haven’t seen in a long time strikes up a conversation and asks, “So what’s the wife up to these days?”

The phrase that I’m talking about is “the wife.”

I’ll keep this brief and to the point. Your wife is not “the wife.” Your friend’s wife is not “the wife.” Your wife is not an object, and neither is your friend’s wife. Replace “The” with “My” or “Your.” Stop calling her “the wife.” She’s a person, not a thing. And Jesus said to love her as Christ loves the church. A great place to start is to treat her as a person, not something you own.